Actually Worth Reading

I'm back! 

I read and commented on everyone's blog! And I'm so happy that all of you are meeting goals, and being lovely! BTW- If you read my blog and I'm not commenting on yours or reading it let me know because it means I haven't subscribed! And I think it's important to be full circle. :)

So here's snack for everyone to munch on about my life:

(om nom nom nom)

-I had a good week: it was really bad, then good again.

-I officially have dropped two pant sizes this year! 

- On 'I love my fucking bf day' Tyler blew me away (like always!) I took him shopping and he was really hesitant (he doesn't think he has good style/or think he's sexy,which he excels in both areas!) But with a big push from me he wandered into the men's departments and picked out some clothes, and new shoes. When we got home he gave me a private fashion show (he he he) Anyways he showed me his outfits and they were AMAZING! I mean he NEVER watches/reads anything about fashion. (The most fashion input he gets is from me and America's Next Top Model, he actually loves the show ) But yeah! He's a fashion prodigy! I knew he had great style when he had a confidence boost last Christmas and ventured into his closet and created a great outfit, but he was never encouraged by anyone to show his individuality till we got together. He's fashion talented! 

*OMG I'm so lucky!*

-The outfit looked so great that I didn't know whether or not to take off the sexy outfit or just get turned on by his new swag garb.. 

-I've been working out as much as I could (I was on my period grr)

-Calories under 500 cals.

-Just started tanning again! Not gonna make my september 21st deadline for gw1, but oh well..I WILL GET THERE!

-I'm noticitng that I'm getting skinnier, my arms are starting be be less like branches and more like twigs ;) and my tummy is more yummy than yucky!

I'm excited for winter..Ooo speaking of which I finished WinterGirls! OMG It was AMAZING! It was thinspo for me. I didn't want to set it down! Anyways girls I've had 200calories so far and it's nealy 2pm... Tyler is gonna go tanning with me ;) 

 p.s-Ooo I have a good question for ya! 

-Have you ever had a dream that your bf/gf cheated on you in a dream while you slept next to them? ( I did and I woke up crying, Tyler was comforting me all night)

I'm Spiraling...

Yesterday was my Tyler day... it went great. I took him shopping and he bought some of the hottest outfits I've ever seen (who knew he had such hot style?!) I mean I saw him try them on and immediately went into monster mode ;) And I went shopping too...not a lot though, just some panties, and long sleeve shirts (for winter) and some new work out tenni-shoes, and two pairs of jeans.. I had to almost squeeze into the hollister size 7's..my ass is having a war with them.. but they are size seven! I want to be a size 5 before the month is over... I know I should be proud to be a 27-29 & a 7... because I used to be a size 30(womens) 9-11 (juniors) in april..but then at the mall I went to Papya and I tried on a pair of 7's that were too tight! I almost cried right there... I immediately regretted the 400 calories I had uptil then... FUCK I was so depressed the rest of the night. All that went through my head is "ok, I'm not gonna eat for 10 days!" I know how tyler hates when I'm depressed about my fat..so I hid it deep down inside.

I'm so fucking huge, and ugly and gross...
I wanna starve to death or rip out large chunks of fat from my skin and show my body who's boss...
I'll read everyones blogs and leave tons of comments because I might not post for awhile.. I just had breakfast while writing this... I have to go purge.

I love you girls... stay strong for me.. I feel like a huge let down!

FML- I hate myself.

JSYK- Just so you know

Sorry!

I know it's been four long days since I've posted but it's because school is been wearing me down!

Diet update:
Kept under 750 cals everyday
Went Tanning yesterday:)
Walked three miles yesterday, and a shit ton on the previous days!
NO binge/no purges..
I started my period so i'll a watery whale... ugh.
Life Update:
I'm finally making friends! yay! No Ana's or Mia's except that girl in my Chem class...But that is still up to questioning... hehehe
Tyler is AMAZING!
I'm almost broke again :( But I still have enough money for clothes!!! yay
I saw my ex... awkward.

Today is my "I love my boyfriend so fucking much!" day

I made him a pie, and gonna make him dinner,-going to get our tattoo's touched up, taking him to get new clothes, kiss on him, rub his feet, and make him feel like a king!

I gotta go! I'll update with responses and juicy shit later! Love you! Miss you little monsters! rawr