I sincerely want to thank all of you for your lovely comments...
especially from Ruby Love Bird and Helen, and Liz you guys are great.
You all are.
So lately (this last week) I've been on a carb binge...kind of. Just an unholy amount of cereal, cheeze nips and crackers but I think I'm passed it. -Still no purging which makes me very happy.
The sadness is creeping in again. Not sad for any reason really, and not sad enough to disable me, just sad enough for me to mentally sigh all day long. It kind of feels like when you have a crush and you can't get that person off your mind only you picture cold concrete stained with ciggarettes and bones filled with dust.
I had under 400 calories today.
I took two diet pills they are like cocaine you aren't hyper but you'd die if you had to sit still for a moment. So I worked out in between thinspo fishing, my term for scouring the internet for thinspo. Some days you don't catch a thing like there was an oil spill on the thin community, but today the fish were biting.
I'm planning on finishing off this bottle of diet pills before Friday and nibbling bits of food till then.Ty comes home and I promised myself I'd look perfect for him. I will. My fat ass and abs are sore from working them out too hard. It will be worth it when his large warm hands are on me.
Seriously his hands are greek god-like.
I have so much to say but I will scare you all off if I write too much...
I've never been very secretive from Ty just because I hate the feeling of isolating him but I'm going to diet more quietly.. I usually tell him everything about my habits but I think I can do better if he doesnt know.