Last Song

"Everybody needs inspiration,
Everybody needs a song.
A beautiful melody,
When the night's so long.
Cause there is no guarantee,
That this life is easy.

Yeah when my world is falling apart.
When there's no light to break up the dark,
That's when I, I, I look at you.
When the waves are flooding the shore,
and I can't find my way home anymore.
That's when I, I, I look at you."

I made my monster man watch The Last Song with me last night. :) I love Nicholas Sparks books, and I loved the movie. My monster tries to act like he doesn't get gaga for romance movies but he was smiling and blushing all throughout the movie! 

How fucking cute!

 

Thin Talk:

-I didn't work out but I walked like 5 damn miles lmao. 

-I had 2 rice cakes (100 cals) Some soda (100-ish) then I had a slice of cheesecake?! I know right?! wtf! Even though its wasnt huge it HAD to have been 400calories... FML.. So that means (rounding up!) 750 calories today... Fucking gross I know.

-Went tanning (looovvvee it) 

(FAT FAT FUCKING FAT)

I hate myself for being such a lard ass-

So one of my besties from a year ago JUST got out of rehab for anorexia.. I know it's super sick to say this but I was jealous of how thin she got... It was amazing to me. 

I was hella pissed at her because she's not fucked up, I mean she was a valedvictorian, played four intruments, spoke three languages, was GORGEOUS, rich parents who loved her, only child, well respected and super talented at everything she did.. But she never thought she was beautiful. I saw the signs of her gaining an eating disorder our senior year... but once we graduated and moved away from eachother I was in a recovery period she finally broke through and became anorexic. She went from a size 9, to a size 3 in less than 6 months..then a few months ago it was a size one (mind you she's 5'10) and passed out at the university gym... Then went to rehab.

I love her and I'm glad she recovered... I fucking miss her. You would love her!!

So I'm cleaning the FUCK out of my apartment because ty has been great to me, and I'm papmer myself and do my nails and hair and salon shit so that I look good for him. 

 

I feel so huge.. I looked at my arms and I'm certain they are the size of hippo.. My thighs are looking better and I'm so close to getting a gap. Luckily I can feel my hipbones and see my collar bones...but I know  

I'm still a huge fucking whale.. 

I told myself I'd stop once I fit into my size 7 jeans.. 

WHO THE FUCK am I KIDDING HERE!?

I'm not gonna stop.

I want size five...but I want size 3 even more... but I NEED size one.

Fuck.

P.S- I love the fuck out of you little monsters.. you and rice cakes keep me breathing!

Glitter Knickers

Tyler came home from work today laughing about the fact he found glitter all over his monster junk... He had no idea how it got there till he remembered I was wearing some Victoria secret pink brand panties with glitter writing on the ass. They say Up All Night ;)  They spread glitter all over the towells he used.

So I woke up a 6am to get to school, walked 4 blocks in hurricane like weather.. just to find out my morning class got cancelled.. So I went to the gym to work out, then they rushed everyone into a bunker because there was a tornado warning... So after the shock and awe of the storm life resumed... I worked out finally!

Workout
3 Kilometers of  Crosstrainer
7 Kilometers of cycle
2 Kilometers Arm Trainer (new machine!)
Hip Inductions, weights, abs ;)

I hope classes get cancelled tomorrow...

So because everyone agreed...
here's me and my little monster man!
Well not little..  NOT EVEN CLOSE
he he he he

Acting like goofs :) And yes, those are owl footie pajamas...

Little Lazy Monster..

Thank you little monsters for all the comments/compliments! 

(Even though I know that I'm a huge fat whale, I took everything you said to heart.)

-So I was at the dentist for TWO hours. But my dentist is amazing! I got all four teeth fully restored and they look amazing. I was so fatigued at the dentist that I nearly fell asleep at least a dozen times.

-I wore the cutest outfit today..and I know I'll actually look good in it one day lmao. It was a babydoll/Laura Ingles type dress, w/ tights and big lace up leather ankle boots. I feel moderately good about myself now because I got hit-on 7 times yesterday! Different guys, at different times!

But too bad sucka's! I got a perfect man!

Speaking of which... Who wants to see a picture of us? If yes lemme know and I'll post one ;)

But...

If I post it you have to PROMISE to wipe your chin of drool cause he's too fkn cute! 

;)

I've had too many calories in the last couple days..probably 750ish a day! 

I know I was gonna start my fast but I have mid terms next week... 

I don't know if I should try to fast and see how it goes or just eat until those are over. 

But I haven't gained any.. I'm still hoping to be at LEAST 120 by October 21st. 

Seriously I'm gonna live of Lida, Rice Cakes, Air and Water! 

Fuck.. I need to go to the gym!

I Love you girls...seriously if it doesn't work out with tyler who wants to be my girlfriend? Any takers ;)
LMAO.
Ah.. I fucking love you little monsters. xoxoxoxo Stay thin ;)

Sticks and Bones

Sticks and Bones create my thrown high away from the floor.

It sit up here, high and clear...To starve myself some more.

So I'm sitting in bed, skipping Sociology class which started 6 mins ago.
I decided not to go since I have a fed ex package coming any second now and
I have a dental appointment soon. If you've been here since the first posts you
should now how much I love the dentist.
My dentist has the warmest hands.
Yea it's sexy.. lmao
I know I'm sick. Whatever.

I don't know how I did on my Statistics test but I don't care really since I have good grades.
Back to the dentist... So I'm having my four front teeth completely restored. Bye bye $350 bucks
( I have FANFUCKINGTASTIC dental insurance!) I have nearly fucked my four front teeth on the back because thats what purging does. 

Thin Talk
-I'm down to 133lbs.
-I have 17 more pounds to lose till I can look at my nude body and not hate it completely.
-I'm starting a fast tomorrow Tyler is gonna let me!
-Went and got a spray tan..love it! I look skinnier! he he he
-Ate a lot these last two days... since my test and all. UGG!

Replies
Btw Mich I just found it online.. I usually keep my fortunes too but the chinese foor here is shit so I never eat it anymore..Probably for my own good.
B-May I might propose to you!  lmao

Billie Jean-you are so fkn brave by getting on the scales every day and posting body pics.. you're my thinspiration so I'm giving you, and my lovely little monsters here a mini treat.. I pic of me. :) I straightened my hair but this it me, yesterday :)