Sarcasm, Eating Disorders, College Life, and everything else.. Oh and for those who hate cursing.. Fuck you. Just kidding.. But seriously.

Jul 22, 2011

Pole Dancing Queen

You girls fucking rule.
I did it.. I did the audition and was hired on the spot!
I'm a regular now! I'm officially a Showgirl, a Pole Dancer, an Exotic Dancer!

Let me say something on behalf of pole dancer..they deserve so much more respect than they get.
After my first night (walked out with 80..worked on stage a total of 30 mins lol) I was sore as hell.
I literally felt as though two big strapping black men beat the shit out of me with two by fours. Its been over 24  hours since my last set and I still feel terrible.It's the most grueling workout I've ever done.

But there are results immediately...other than pole bruises and bright purple bruises on my knees from floor work,,,but im tone and tight with sexy legs unveiling themselves.

The girls there, for the most part, are great.

My first actual set on my first song some guy made it rain on me... I mean literally.
And after all the years of hearing pop songs sing about making it rain on a stripper or in the club I never got it...but once I felt a dozen ones shimmer down my body I understood why they write songs about it.
It's an amazing feeling because not every girl has gotten rained on so when you feel special.

Later after my set I went backstage and changed and hustled the floor..just chatting up the men, so I talked to the "rain maker" guy and he told me I had the best body of any girl at the club :) that made me a happy little monster.

So after all was said in done I made about 80 bucks my first day (but I had to  pay the house fee and tipp the DJ) Went home tired as a dog and ironed my cash.

-Ty loves it now..he went and watched me dance and thought it was sexy as hell that I could arouse every man there and go home with him.
I'm his private dancer.

Seriously we fucked on a Charlie Sheen status the night he saw me dance.

So I've got to get ready.. I work 10pm-2am tonight.
Straighten my hair, get dolled up..roll in a pool full of glitter..the usual.. lmao

I love this job...I work so much that I don't have time to eat and if I did I'd work it off easily. you girls know.. I love glitter and I get to wear it for work..and heels and flirt and let guys buy me drinks all night long :) Hehehe I'm a happy little monster!

Btw my Stage name is Diana...

Jul 19, 2011

Being a Stripper

Thank you all for the generous compliments on my last post and pictures!

I haven't read everyones blog lately because Ty and I are having some serious problems.
Ever since he cheated/lied last November I've had trust issues..and he's only slipped up a couple times but forgiving him has taken a lot out of me.

We are very different and I've changed a lot to make his life comfortable.
I'm not complaining because I love him but I feel so miserable at times.
I was so upset that last week I started looking at new housing..started thinking I'd leave him.
Sometimes I feel like I give and give...

So last night my bestie wanted to go to a local strip club in order to get a job there..
(She's a stripper at another club but needs something closer to home.)
And we decided to make a night of it.. The bestie, me and Ty went to the club.

We tipped the strippers and we were there for a few hours.
Ty had never been to a strip club...but let me make more sense of this...
This was NOT a strip club..its a go go bar. So in essence they are pole dancers in bikinis.. never nude.
The dancers don't have private VIP rooms and they dont do peek shows and there is no touching policies.
Ty was always skeptical and I had told him long before that I wanted to be a go go dancer.
When my bestie started being an actual stripper I was jealous. She had a job that didn't interfere with her taxes and finacial aid.

Ty and I struggle with bills although he'd never tell me....
I know he wishes I had a job but I just can't. I barely get enough in student loans to cover my schooling and having a job would remove my grants.. I'd have to drop out.
Schooling is the most important thing to me and my family.

There are things I need that Ty can't give me and I dont have the money for.
I need to get a car, doctors appointments, school books, a new laptop.
So go go dancing seemed like a great option to me... the club is very nice and respectable.
You work for tips but if I try to save up I could stay in school and get the things I need.

Ty had a great time at the club and saw how harmless that place is..
He loosened up, tossed ones, blushed and even had a favorite.
I didnt get jealous I know that its harmless.
When my bestie *Lena went to get a application Ty knew I wanted to do it too
so he told me to go fill out an application and he trusted me.
I went to the bar with Lena and filled out the application. The owner immediately liked us.

Ty was next to me and Lena the whole time while the manager talked about an audition..
The audition is tonight.
Once we got home Ty's smile and easy-going habit had faded.
He looked hurt and angry. He told me he didn't want me to do it and made me feel like shit.

I was confused. Why would he tell me to apply then use it against me later?
I feel like he wanted to embarass me by asking about a job and then telling me no so i'd have to go throught the embarassment of explaining to my bestie and the owner that i can't do it.

Eventually he came around and said I can do it...but it feels like a trap.
He's doing it to make me look like a low life and leave me.

I never do things for myself.
He hates me.
I should just leave him now and beat him to the punch.

What do I do?