The world is a fucked up place

As the title says; the world IS a fucked up place.

I dont really feel like explaining why that is but just take my word for it...
Still dancing and so excited to start my next semester!
I dont know if I mentioned it you all last time but I had to take a trip to Los Angeles to see my Nana who was ill.. Turns out she's doing alright and the trip was AMAZING!

 I fucking hated sluggishly dragging my feet on the return flight knowing coming home
    would suck more than a pineapple up the ass.... but I digress.

The trip was a success because my poppa was there and he gave me a gift. It was a brand new deck of california novelty playing cards, now that seems really lame to most people but my dad has never given me a gift in my life. So, finally, at 20 years old this little monster got her first gift from her daddy. Secondly one of my favorite people in the whole wide world met up with me in LA. An old flame, so to speak, We'll call him Noah. I've known Noah longer than almost any guy that I still talk to, we never dated but he was my first love. We rambled around hollywood; having dinner, seeing sites and catching up. It was one of the best nights in years.

Anyways I've been reading your blogs and am soon to comment on all of yours!
Here's some pics, funny pics and pics of Momma Monster herself, moi :)
Talk to you ravenous beauties later! xoxoxoxo

New Pics of Me

Darkness Falls

Despite my new life of sexuality and empowerment I find myself hating my body and aching again.

Hungry not for food...A craving that I cannot fill.

skinny.thin.thin.thin.tiny.petite.bones.

emaciate me.

skinny.sickly.tiny.small

It happened slowly..all the girls I dance with are small..100-125 lbs maybe even smaller..
I am one of the three girls who are considered the biggest...I get paid as much if not more than the other girls but I hate being classified as the curvy one.. I have a small waist but huge hips and tits.

I am going to diet... or worse.
I need to lost ten pounds....

second star to the right

Thank you all for caring so much

 Ty and I had a huge blow out which made me think over my life.
Not it's worth but it's purpose. I fear as though I am missing out on something big sometimes.

Like this lifestyle is holding me back.

Yesterday was my birthday, I am officially 20 years old.

20.20.20.20.20

Wow I never wanted to be this old. Yes, I know it sounds stupid but all I ever wanted was to be a teen.
...afterall Peter Pan was my favorite story as a child.
My birthdays are usually terrible mind-fuck tradgedies of epic propotions... until this year!
It was something out of a movie....



MAGICAL Tale of My 20th BIRTHDAY

(ahhh fuck yea! glitter and tequilla!)

so early yesterday morning (noonish) I woke up to Ty telling my happy birthday then we cleaned up the apartment and he left to the DMV (department of motor vehicals oh who gives a fuck) I stayed home I cleaned the apartment in preparation for the following night.. Ty gets back around 3-4 and we go get his ID card, junk food, and liquor! Now after returning and preppipng the apartment I go off to work. I get there are 7pm (more like 7:30 but it was my bday I can be late...) And the girls lead me inside... The ENTIRE club is decorated with streamers, confetti, and baloons! Everyone is wishing my happy birthday and sneaking me some shots of liqour back stage. Once work picks up around 11pm everyone is there tipping me and parting for me it was great. Then the DJ calls everyone off the stage and they sit me, with my tiara and wand in a chair on the stage next to a pole and makes the girls give me dances while everyone cheers, and sings happy birthday. Next, one of the girls brings up a cake with the 20 candle and the whole club says HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU SEXY BITCH! while I blew out the candles!!

 It was awesome. After work we all headed back to my apartment and that when the fun happened..

We got in, put on the music and started drinking...there must have been 12 -15 people ( I can't remember) there we baked the pizza's took shots, released my bunny, danced, traded clothes, played poker..Some people fucked in my bedroom, Tyler puked in the bathtub, I puked in a trash can.. over all it was a huge success. In the morning (1pm) most of the people were gone, my mirror was broke in half, two cups are missing and a cup I have never seen was in  my sink, one of my friends shirts was in the kitchen and I was on the couch. I don't remember much but it was awesome. So I finally did it, I had a great birthday once and for all. Kesha would be proud.





Dollar Bills and Sweat

To repeat what I said last post: you girls fucking rule.

The acceptance I feel from you all makes me so happy!

Since none of my readers are pole dancers let me make a little list of slang words.

It's Pole Dancer Dictionary Time!

Make it Rain- means a man throws a fist full of cash on you when you are dancing.
Make it Thunder- man throws so much cash it covers the whole stage
Gogo Dancer- A dancer who dances, usually on a pole, for cash but does not strip, she is covering all major areas: tits, ass crack, vajayjay.
Hustle the floor- talking to the customers between sets to try to get them to buy you: drinks, gifts, tip more, and buy private dances.
Floor Work- dancing the the floor of the stage, shaking your ass, spreading your legs, crawling sexually, and winking at tippers.
Sets- The time you are dancing..usually 1-4 songs.
Butterlying- sewing the back of your panties to make them smaller..looks like wings,
Pole Tricks- being on the pole and acrobatically manuevering yourself around it to fascinate the crowd.
Cashing In- Taking your ones to the bar and exchanging them for bigger bills.

So tuesday will make it a full week of stripping..and im up to about $400 dollars in tips. Although I took two days off...

So i've worked 4 days... about 100$ a night on average.

I'm having a great time.. I love the girls there and the atmosphere. I think working there is helping me so much.. The money isn't the best part of working there.. you have men buying you drinks all night, telling you how beautiful you every night and you get to dress up and dance your ass off.


True enough you do get a heinous amount of bruises
                           but for 100$ a night who wouldn't endure that?!

Another plus side is that I work nights... so 10-2 im working I get home and clean up, go to bed...wake up, get ready and go back to work. I have no time to eat a ton! I eat less than "normal" and work out more than I ever have. The celllulite in my legs is almost gone! its amazing!


I have a regular now ;) He's this buff puerto rican from New Jersey lol he always spends at least 50$ on me a night.


Hopefully I'll buy those red pills again and lose more weight... I'm tone now but I want to lost ten more pounds...just in my stomach lol.


There is a dancer there who is wonderfully tiny... I envy her body. and she's had kids! she is like 90lbs... love her!

Anyways I've got to do laundry :)

And yes I'll post pics of my outfits soon!

Pole Dancing Queen

You girls fucking rule.

I did it.. I did the audition and was hired on the spot!

I'm a regular now! I'm officially a Showgirl, a Pole Dancer, an Exotic Dancer!

Let me say something on behalf of pole dancer..they deserve so much more respect than they get.
After my first night (walked out with 80..worked on stage a total of 30 mins lol) I was sore as hell.
I literally felt as though two big strapping black men beat the shit out of me with two by fours. Its been over 24  hours since my last set and I still feel terrible.It's the most grueling workout I've ever done.

But there are results immediately...other than pole bruises and bright purple bruises on my knees from floor work,,,but im tone and tight with sexy legs unveiling themselves.

The girls there, for the most part, are great.



My first actual set on my first song some guy made it rain on me... I mean literally.
And after all the years of hearing pop songs sing about making it rain on a stripper or in the club I never got it...but once I felt a dozen ones shimmer down my body I understood why they write songs about it.
It's an amazing feeling because not every girl has gotten rained on so when you do..you feel special.

Later after my set I went backstage and changed and hustled the floor..just chatting up the men, so I talked to the "rain maker" guy and he told me I had the best body of any girl at the club :) that made me a happy little monster.



So after all was said in done I made about 80 bucks my first day (but I had to  pay the house fee and tipp the DJ) Went home tired as a dog and ironed my cash.

-Ty loves it now..he went and watched me dance and thought it was sexy as hell that I could arouse every man there and go home with him.
I'm his private dancer.

Seriously we fucked on a Charlie Sheen status the night he saw me dance.



So I've got to get ready.. I work 10pm-2am tonight.

Straighten my hair, get dolled up..roll in a pool full of glitter..the usual.. lmao

I love this job...I work so much that I don't have time to eat and if I did I'd work it off easily.
Plus..as you girls know.. I love glitter and I get to wear it for work..and heels and flirt and let guys buy me drinks all night long :) Hehehe I'm a happy little monster!

Btw my Stage name is Diana...