-My painting of self expression-
Since the car crash I've been bed ridden... which means no cardio.
I'm fat.
fat fat fat
fucking. stupid as bitch. fatty Mc fatty fat!
I feel flabby. Ty came home yesterday with a pack of starburst for me, because he's a great boyfriend and he knows they are my fave...But all I could do was cry my eyes out cause I'm fasting.
He's gonna let me continue my fast because he knows I have a problem.. He's a great boyfriend.He doesn't understand EDNOS... no one does.
So since fasting I've been pissing like seabiscuit!
I'm on day 2 and I want to go 20 days..
I was in Mc Donalds a few days ago getting one of their fruit smoothies which are
DE-FUCKING-LICIOUS!
( Like Taylor Lautner in Eclipse just like Campbell's fucking soup MmmMmm GOOD!)
I go to Micky D's to feel skinny because everyone there is so fat..It makes me happy and sad at the same time.
On a side note I got the best news of my life... My mother told me she was proud of me.
I don't know if I've mentioned this but her opinion of me means everything.
Which it shouldn't! Because she is a delusional pill popper, but she is MY MOMMA.
I had a restraining order against her my senior yr of high school cause she
was taking 5-6 percocets a day and when she ran out she would make me
go out on the streets and buy them for her, using my "good looks" to get deals.
She didn't care if is was 32 degrees out.
She's and Addict, and delusional and manic depressive.
I'm EDNOS leaning Ana, OCD, and manic depressive.
We are happily fucked up.
I just want to start school and distract myself from me.
I know I have a problems but floating away sounds so much better.
