Diet Pills/My body

Fuck... Obviously you can't see this but I just deleted the first paragraph of this blog accidentally. Fuck....

I really hate repeating myself.

Grr. Anyways I've always taking diet pills since I was 15 years old: everything from Slimage to Hydroxycut. And now again I'll be taking another, this time I'm taking Lida Meitizang. So far its awesome. No jitters and not hungry at all.
So I'll post my weight loss with each blog :) Wish me luck. Ooo Bring it on is on tv. :)
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By the way Michael Jackson is the ULTIMATE. When I say that I mean ULTIMATE EVERYTHING.
So I weighed myself today and was disgusted to see that it was 144 pounds. At 5'7'' that's gross.
True I have some wonderfully massive tits which seriously must weight at least 5 pounds a piece.. still.
I ate: One oatmeal packet-120cals, Steak pieces- 500cals, Gum 3cals
Rounding up total Calories are 675

This is me btw. Those jeans are size 29 for true religion jeans.

38-26-40 im gonna be 34-24-36 and 120lbs

Puke... whipe face, gargle listerine

I fasted for a whole 28 hours :) yay... then I broke it of course. Fuck Imma try not eating today.
I'll write later...

Fasting yay..fuck

Ok so I'll get the embarassing shit out now.
My mom called me a few days ago and left a message on my celly tellin me she had found my favorite purge bucket hidden in my room! OMG Right!

I was as embarassed as a nun getting caught giving head!

On another note my boyfriend Ty ended up getting the day off for my birthday and the day after which is my wedding anniversary.                                              AWKWARD.

I have cellulite.I lost a couple pounds! hooray! But...

Yes the dreadful "but..."                                        I'm still a fatty.

I got hit on yesterday some guy asked for my number and wanted to party with me and I told him I was a lesbian.. Which I'm totally not.

If you said "Dicks?"           I'd say "I'm all for 'em!"

p.s- Cindy Crawford equals womanly perfection!

So I'm fasting again please give me strength to do it! Oh and Enrique Englasis wins the eye candy of the week! Nom nom nom. Ladies Eat up ;)

So everyone who's your favorite singers/bands?

I love you...I wish I loved myself like I love you.

I don't know what to do. This depression is killing me. My mom told me to go to the doctor..

Sitting, waiting..questions " Why are you Depressed" Deer in the headlights. Cold hard white plastic. Sitting waiting. Measure me. Stand up. Weight? Think think think... Fuck.

I don't want to go to the doctor... I don't want to be doped up, and  

I don't want to be that friend who isn't herself unless she's on her meds...

I just want to be thin and curl into a ball. People at Tyler's work is trying to keep us apart because he's married and so am I. They don't understand us. I love Tyler, he's my partner. I know that without him I'd be worthless.

 

He makes me laugh and smile. It's like when I'm with him I can exhale. I don't expect people to understand or even care but it's my life. Why not pursue what makes us happy at all costs?
My birthday is on August 5th and I'll be turning 19. All I want for that birthday is to be loved, told happy birthday by my friends and family, have tyler in my arms, and be thin.