Fasting yay..fuck

Ok so I'll get the embarassing shit out now.
My mom called me a few days ago and left a message on my celly tellin me she had found my favorite purge bucket hidden in my room! OMG Right!

I was as embarassed as a nun getting caught giving head!

On another note my boyfriend Ty ended up getting the day off for my birthday and the day after which is my wedding anniversary.                                              AWKWARD.

I have cellulite.I lost a couple pounds! hooray! But...

Yes the dreadful "but..."                                        I'm still a fatty.

I got hit on yesterday some guy asked for my number and wanted to party with me and I told him I was a lesbian.. Which I'm totally not.

If you said "Dicks?"           I'd say "I'm all for 'em!"

p.s- Cindy Crawford equals womanly perfection!

So I'm fasting again please give me strength to do it! Oh and Enrique Englasis wins the eye candy of the week! Nom nom nom. Ladies Eat up ;)

So everyone who's your favorite singers/bands?

Today... and how to freak out a dental assistant

Woke up. Had an odd dream about Christian Bale...He was my boss (which doesn't make any sense since I don't have a job.)

Last night my husband was being an asshole which is common.
So I went for a late night run because I felt fat and pissed off. I ran again this morning.

No food for today which is perfect because buying food in Virginia is like raping a nun its so depressing... I'm used to the awesomeness of Oregon's no sales tax and fresh farmers markets.

Today they are working on my latest fucked up tooth, and I have quite the history of fucking up my teeth. Fortunately enough I chipped one of the side front teeth a few months back when I was wasted.

I was hungrier than an Ethiopian child at the moment and bit into a massive and delicious popcorn ball.

But sometimes children food will bite you back. So now there is a noticeable chip in my tooth.

Despite my love with the dentist I'm a bit hesitant to go again because last time I went and had X-rays the dental assistant stuck her finger in my mouth to pull out the rubber stopper and I unintentionally sucked on her finger.

I sucked on her finger long enough to create an misty stink of awkwardness in the room.

I wanna to scream "I'm not a lesbo!" But I'm sure that would have just freaked her out.

I love awkward moments like these though...Secretly I hope its on their mind enough that at their therapy session next week I'm a highlight.