I ate so much these last two days.I fucking hate myself! Do I have no control?! Am I that weak?
I am not eating anymore, if I do it'll be either a slice of ham, or a grape, or a pickle. Fuck I don't know. I've lost 11 pounds in 8 days. I need to lose another 15 by August 28th..maybe even 20.
Fuck!I'm going to water fast and take this pill.
The reason I'm so moody is because I went to the beach today and felt my thighs rub together as I walked around. Then to top it off there was a skinny bitch there in a tiny black bikini. I want to be the skinny bitch in the black bikini.
Grr...News Flash* I promised my best friend that I'd seek some sort of "help" because of my eating disorder, so I might be going to a support group meeting soon.
I need someone here to kick my ass all day and tell me not to eat.I want my body to eat itself, why should I be it's slave and feed it. I want to tell my body: "Feed yourself you selfish fucking cow!"
I might not write another post for a couple weeks, but I'll log on you read/comment yours. :)