tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3949781570043725822024-03-14T03:27:32.589-04:00The Rearview MirrorWhen life as you know it ends...the bones begin.pixistix14http://www.blogger.com/profile/13147607366996114311noreply@blogger.comBlogger123125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-394978157004372582.post-40191929168395198252012-08-16T19:30:00.000-04:002012-08-16T19:30:12.385-04:00My 21st Birthday It was awesome! I drank with my lawyer, coworkers, bf and all my friends!<br />
I won a bikini contest, saw the sunrise over the ocean and saw dolphins swimming as the sun rose.<br />
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BEST BDAY EVER! HAPPY 21st to me.pixistix14http://www.blogger.com/profile/13147607366996114311noreply@blogger.com41tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-394978157004372582.post-32093569470561142522012-04-11T02:39:00.000-04:002012-04-11T02:39:32.501-04:00The world is a fucked up place<div style="text-align: center;"><u><span style="color: #c27ba0; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">As the title says; the world<em><strong> IS</strong></em> a fucked up place.</span></u></div><span style="color: #c27ba0; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I dont really feel like explaining why that is but just take my word for it...</span><br />
<span style="color: #c27ba0; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Still dancing and so excited to start my next semester! </span><br />
<span style="color: #c27ba0; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I dont know if I mentioned it you all last time but I had to take a trip to Los Angeles to see my Nana who was ill.. Turns out she's doing alright and the trip was <strong>AMAZING</strong>!</span><br />
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<em><strong><span style="color: #c27ba0; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> I fucking hated sluggishly dragging my feet on the return flight knowing coming home </span></strong></em><br />
<em><strong><span style="color: #c27ba0; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> would suck more than a pineapple up the ass.... but I digress.</span></strong></em><br />
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<span style="color: #c27ba0; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The trip was a success because my poppa was there and he gave me a gift. It was a brand new deck of california novelty playing cards, now that seems really lame to most people but my dad has never given me a gift in my life. So, finally, at 20 years old this little monster got her first gift from her daddy. Secondly one of my favorite people in the whole wide world met up with me in LA. An old flame, so to speak, We'll call him Noah. I've known Noah longer than almost any guy that I still talk to, we never dated but he was my first love. We rambled around hollywood; having dinner, seeing sites and catching up. It was one of the best nights in years.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #c27ba0; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Anyways I've been reading your blogs and am soon to comment on all of yours! </span><br />
<span style="color: #c27ba0; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here's some pics, funny pics and pics of Momma Monster herself, moi :)</span><br />
<span style="color: #c27ba0; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Talk to you ravenous beauties later! xoxoxoxo</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/--LWiM_h2wpo/T4UmOQiJxNI/AAAAAAAAAnc/ELpL7NqkrUQ/s1600/545081_412682695427734_223414024354603_1525988_1981300531_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/--LWiM_h2wpo/T4UmOQiJxNI/AAAAAAAAAnc/ELpL7NqkrUQ/s320/545081_412682695427734_223414024354603_1525988_1981300531_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: large;"><u><strong>New Pics of Me</strong></u> </span></span></div><div align="center"><br />
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</div>pixistix14http://www.blogger.com/profile/13147607366996114311noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-394978157004372582.post-48970262139649130502012-03-14T04:33:00.000-04:002012-03-14T04:33:33.549-04:00Diamond Dogs<span style="color: #e06666; font-size: x-large;">I'm One Bad Bitch and I Got a Rhinestone Collar ;)</span><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><em>Thank you little monsters for posting such a joyous welcome back! </em></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><em>Well big news.. I'm going to L.A this weekend and be staying there for almost two weeks.</em></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><em>My family lives there, specifically my nana who's sick, and I, like fringe bangs, is due for a schnazzy return!</em></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><em>Anywhoozle Tyler and I are over, I still dance and I'm posting you all pics. :)</em></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><em>Love and Miss you all!</em></span></div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-tjrQSQ7jv5Q/T2BW60kFo_I/AAAAAAAAAmU/0E2bUtZ4R9o/s1600/391822_3000321657032_1532035179_32945607_1848693173_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img aea="true" border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-tjrQSQ7jv5Q/T2BW60kFo_I/AAAAAAAAAmU/0E2bUtZ4R9o/s320/391822_3000321657032_1532035179_32945607_1848693173_n.jpg" width="186" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ZGZFlebaYBw/T2BXtnDcUZI/AAAAAAAAAmc/F6MZf6wyn2Y/s1600/IMG_20120223_224955.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img aea="true" border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ZGZFlebaYBw/T2BXtnDcUZI/AAAAAAAAAmc/F6MZf6wyn2Y/s320/IMG_20120223_224955.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><div align="center"></div>pixistix14http://www.blogger.com/profile/13147607366996114311noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-394978157004372582.post-62286324393784764972012-02-05T23:34:00.000-05:002012-02-05T23:34:28.893-05:00Happy Girls Are The Prettiest...<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">My how long its been...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I've missed you all and so so much has happened. I'm still a dancer and I love it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">It's a<em> dirty</em> little world we dancers share.. <strike>Its ice cold and blurry</strike>. A mix of sweat and <strong>black</strong> tears.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> <span style="font-size: x-small;"> tears.tequilla.bones/sexy.money.glitter.bruises</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">It's all terribly complicated. <strike>my life</strike></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><strike><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-small;">whathaveidone?</span></strike></div><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I'm 120 but tiny and muscular. I'm famous in a little hole in the wall on the wrong side of town. But there..I'm known.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I get ready every night.... </span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"><em>I put on my work clothes...</em></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"><em> ...fishnet pantyhose....</em></span></div><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">The stage is my spotlight, where I toss away all insecurity. On that stage im FIERCE.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Off it I'm still me..the one you all know and hopefully love.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I love you all and most likey am gonna start writing on here again... there is much for you to hear.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Well my little monsters, my dancing pixles I bid you adieu, </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">-<em>Dirty Diana xoxoxxo</em></span><br />
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<div align="center"></div>pixistix14http://www.blogger.com/profile/13147607366996114311noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-394978157004372582.post-86721899885026035212011-09-06T11:01:00.000-04:002011-09-06T11:01:00.982-04:00You won't believe this...<strong><span style="color: #e06666;">When I chose this title I was aiming it at those who have followed my blog for quite some time.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #e06666;">The ones who know why I started a blog..sat at thier screen and saw me pour my heart out about my anorexia, cutting, self abuse, mental abuse, relationships and school... </span></strong><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3YYt4Y-iW-E/TmY1ocOjJSI/AAAAAAAAAmA/9QRYoNpcRC4/s1600/tumblr_lowqptyWWR1qh7a1to1_500.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="222" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3YYt4Y-iW-E/TmY1ocOjJSI/AAAAAAAAAmA/9QRYoNpcRC4/s320/tumblr_lowqptyWWR1qh7a1to1_500.png" width="320" /></a></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><strong><span style="color: #e06666;">Well, you truly wont believe this... I love my body. For the first time in my life I love it! It has flaws but it also has areas of perfection that I could not be anything more than greatful for!</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #e06666;">My arms are sculpted and slender, my legs have no cellulite and tons of definition, I have ABS! And I still have big tits and ass! </span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #e06666;">I will never fit a size 1 but the girls who can fit a size one will prolly never fill out a 36D bra like I can...</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #e06666;">Pole dancing saved my life...</span></strong><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #3d85c6; font-size: large;"><u><strong>NEWS FLASH ME</strong></u></span></div><br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6;">-I am still pole dancing and I love every second of it</span><br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6;">-I have more friends! Granted they are pole dancers too</span><br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6;">-I took a random road trip to georgia with Lena</span><br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6;">-Tyler and I broke up, we still love each other but its over.</span><br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6;">-I started my second year of university!</span><br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6;">-I'm starting to be happier and happier</span><br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6;">-I miss all of you!</span><br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6;">-Yesterday I ate french fries and didnt think twice about it</span><br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6;">-I made some bitch jealous..hahahaha suck it whore!</span><br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6;">-bitter!</span>pixistix14http://www.blogger.com/profile/13147607366996114311noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-394978157004372582.post-75429772202173481202011-08-22T14:04:00.000-04:002011-08-22T14:04:48.456-04:00Controlled<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><u>Some things were meant to be controlled...</u></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-npgotXyx2kY/TlKYEMaa_kI/AAAAAAAAAl0/EATCkhfc5Yo/s1600/g.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="141" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-npgotXyx2kY/TlKYEMaa_kI/AAAAAAAAAl0/EATCkhfc5Yo/s200/g.png" width="200" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QO8a2a-2IQM/TlKYEhGq-sI/AAAAAAAAAl4/ybgu1dGYxxI/s1600/p.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QO8a2a-2IQM/TlKYEhGq-sI/AAAAAAAAAl4/ybgu1dGYxxI/s200/p.png" width="200" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_fEhicC0xLo/TlKYFVp9VlI/AAAAAAAAAl8/TwhWx9-LgPU/s1600/st.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="179" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_fEhicC0xLo/TlKYFVp9VlI/AAAAAAAAAl8/TwhWx9-LgPU/s200/st.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><br />
<br />
<strong><em><span style="font-size: large;">but not me.</span></em></strong><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Ty and I officially broke up. We were faking happiness..me more than him.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">As the summer dwindles to a halt the bitterness of forgotten memories accompanies the frigid bite from winter which slowly creeps in.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">One year and 7 months....gone</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">We had a good run. I love him so much.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I'm thinking of moving...maybe florida or New York.. I need to up-root</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I cannot be chained or harnessed...Tyler learned that.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">And I, I cannot change others...even if it is for the better. I learned that.</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><em><strong><span style="font-size: large;"> I'm gonna marry the night and make love to the stars. </span></strong></em></div><div style="text-align: center;"><em><strong><span style="font-size: large;">I've given up on earthly items...I'm living my life now.</span></strong></em></div>pixistix14http://www.blogger.com/profile/13147607366996114311noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-394978157004372582.post-64266989673809800282011-08-13T22:36:00.000-04:002011-08-13T22:36:16.423-04:00Darkness Falls<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Despite my new life of sexuality and empowerment I find myself hating my body and aching again.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><strong>Hungry not for food...A craving that I cannot fill.</strong></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-iF33Ar7grSk/Tkc0hmeWIvI/AAAAAAAAAlw/SGDTFKdgQ7U/s1600/tumblr_lma9moGtgA1qg4z24o1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" naa="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-iF33Ar7grSk/Tkc0hmeWIvI/AAAAAAAAAlw/SGDTFKdgQ7U/s400/tumblr_lma9moGtgA1qg4z24o1_500.jpg" width="298" /></a></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #e06666; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em>skinny.thin.thin.thin.tiny.petite.bones.</em></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #e06666; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em>emaciate me.</em></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #e06666; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em>skinny.sickly.tiny.small</em></span></div><br />
<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">It happened slowly..all the girls I dance with are small..100-125 lbs maybe even smaller..</span><br />
<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I am one of the three girls who are considered the biggest...I get paid as much if not more than the other girls but I hate being classified as the curvy one.. I have a small waist but huge hips and tits.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I am going to diet... or <strong><u>worse.</u></strong></span><br />
<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I need to lost ten pounds....</span>pixistix14http://www.blogger.com/profile/13147607366996114311noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-394978157004372582.post-32955929607970832962011-08-07T00:12:00.000-04:002011-08-07T00:12:22.363-04:00second star to the right<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #3d85c6; font-size: large;"><u>Thank you all for caring so much</u></span></div><span style="color: #6aa84f;"> Ty and I had a huge blow out which made me think over my life.</span><br />
<span style="color: #6aa84f;">Not it's worth but it's purpose. I fear as though I am missing out on something big sometimes.</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><em><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Like this lifestyle is holding me back.</span></em></div><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Yesterday was my birthday, I am officially 20 years old.</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #6aa84f;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><strong>20.20.20.20.20</strong></span> </span></div><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Wow I never wanted to be this old. Yes, I know it sounds stupid but all I ever wanted was to be a teen.</span><br />
<em><span style="color: #6aa84f;">...afterall Peter Pan was my favorite story as a child.</span></em><br />
<span style="color: #6aa84f;">My birthdays are usually terrible mind-fuck tradgedies of epic propotions... until this year!</span><br />
<span style="color: #6aa84f;">It was something out of a movie....</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2tdb5_bYUIU/Tj4QJRNrftI/AAAAAAAAAlo/ZPp4uwdANMg/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2tdb5_bYUIU/Tj4QJRNrftI/AAAAAAAAAlo/ZPp4uwdANMg/s400/images.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div align="center"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="color: #674ea7; font-size: large;"><u>MAGICAL Tale of My 20th BIRTHDAY</u></span></strong></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="color: #674ea7; font-size: x-small;">(ahhh fuck yea! glitter and tequilla!)</span></strong></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><strong><span style="color: magenta; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">so early yesterday morning (noonish) I woke up to Ty telling my happy birthday then we cleaned up the apartment and he left to the DMV (department of motor vehicals oh who gives a fuck) I stayed home I cleaned the apartment in preparation for the following night.. Ty gets back around 3-4 and we go get his ID card, junk food, and liquor! Now after returning and preppipng the apartment I go off to work. I get there are 7pm (more like 7:30 but it was my bday I can be late...) And the girls lead me inside... The ENTIRE club is decorated with streamers, confetti, and baloons! Everyone is wishing my happy birthday and sneaking me some shots of liqour back stage. Once work picks up around 11pm everyone is there tipping me and parting for me it was great. Then the DJ calls everyone off the stage and they sit me, with my tiara and wand in a chair on the stage next to a pole and makes the girls give me dances while everyone cheers, and sings happy birthday. Next, one of the girls brings up a cake with the 20 candle and the whole club says HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU SEXY BITCH! while I blew out the candles!!</span></strong></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><strong><span style="color: magenta; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"> It was awesome. After work we all headed back to my apartment and that when the fun happened..</span></strong></div><div style="text-align: left;"><strong><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: magenta;">We got in, put on the music and started drinking...there must have been 12 -15 people ( I can't remember) there we baked the pizza's took shots, released my bunny, danced, traded clothes, played poker..Some people fucked in my bedroom, Tyler puked in the bathtub, I puked in a trash can.. over all it was a huge success. In the morning (1pm) most of the people were gone, my mirror was broke in half, two cups are missing and a cup I have never seen was in my sink, one of my friends shirts was in the kitchen and I was on the couch. I don't remember much but it was awesome. So I finally did it, I had a great birthday once and for all. Kesha would be proud.</span> </span></strong></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ImmGCvHqlTU/Tj4QMZHSBeI/AAAAAAAAAls/loXtYICcrcI/s1600/gfd.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="271" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ImmGCvHqlTU/Tj4QMZHSBeI/AAAAAAAAAls/loXtYICcrcI/s400/gfd.png" width="400" /></a></div><div align="center" style="text-align: left;"></div><div align="center" style="text-align: left;"></div>pixistix14http://www.blogger.com/profile/13147607366996114311noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-394978157004372582.post-81009063384450481922011-08-04T06:26:00.000-04:002011-08-04T06:26:46.215-04:00please stop the traini think it's time i leave again.<br />
i've been here far too long<br />
i'm growing attached to people and places<br />
i think im hurting again<br />
<br />
I can't stay in one place too long...I'm thinking of moving out of the country...where is a good place?<br />
<br />
i'm hurting again<br />
tyler is hurting me.<br />
i feel cagedpixistix14http://www.blogger.com/profile/13147607366996114311noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-394978157004372582.post-49298989895468275942011-08-01T05:59:00.000-04:002011-08-01T05:59:38.561-04:00I Feel So Alive<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #6aa84f; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-small;"><em>"Everyday is a new day<br />
I'm thankful for<br />
Every breath I take<br />
I won't take you for granted (I won't take you for granted)<br />
So I learn from my mistakes<br />
It's beyond my control<br />
Sometimes it's best to let go<br />
Whatever happens<br />
In this lifetime<br />
So I trust in love (and so I trust in love)<br />
You have given me<br />
Peace of mind<br />
<br />
I feel so alive<br />
For the very first time<br />
I can't deny you<br />
I feel so alive<br />
I feel so alive<br />
For the very first time<br />
And I think I can fly"</em></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="left" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #e06666; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I find this feeling to be so very alien.. I'm used to logging on to blogger so depressed and one minded but now I feel changed. Not changed in the sense that I've become something different but that my outlook has improved.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Since I started pole dancing I've filled some sort of void- and since I've moved here I havent had many friends. It's been a life of solitude for the past two years... A shell shock experience for me because I was so used to be surrounded by people who loved me, both friends, and family. Now that I dance, I have friends again: other dancers, bouncers, waitresses and customers.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><strong> <span style="font-size: large;">I'm happy again.</span></strong></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">It's going to sound corny but being an exotic dancer <u>saved me</u>. I actual have fun. </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><strong>Like real fun</strong>.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><em><span style="color: #45818e; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I don't have to fake smiles, laughs, or even care about what I eat.</span></em></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #45818e; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I don't starve myself anymore, and it's not because I don't want to be tiny, trust me I do...it's just I know I burn so many calories at work that I never worry. That and I have no time for binging or time to think about it. Another way I was saved by dancing was that the men who come and watch me dance seem so mesmerized by my body that I feel like I have something to be proud of.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #45818e; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Every single night there is a guy there who practically begs me to date them or insists that I get their number. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><em><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: #45818e;">It's flattering to say the least</span>.</span></em> </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #a64d79; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Here is something very serious...something that I guess did change me...</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #a64d79; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I've noticed that some of the men that go are extremely unattractive and middle aged but they come up to me and buy me a drink and just talk. They aren't there to get some ass they just want someone to talk to them and make them feel beautiful on the inside..It hurt me to realize just how judgmental I've become. The inside is what matters most.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="color: #a64d79;"> <strong>They are just as beautiful as anyone else.</strong></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #e69138; font-size: large;"><u><em>You, my little monsters, are <strong>all</strong> beautiful.</em></u></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><em><span style="color: #e69138;">Now that the seriousness have been discussed here is the fun O.M.G segment.</span></em></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #3d85c6; font-size: x-large;"><u><strong>O.M.G</strong></u></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><em><span style="font-size: large;">The section fucking awesomness</span></em>.</span></div><div align="left" style="text-align: center;"></div><ul><li><span style="color: #e06666; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> <strong>OMG</strong>- I get paid nearly $1,000 dollars a week tax free dancing part time.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="color: #e06666;"><strong>OMG</strong>- I just went shopping bought my bf shoes, me shoes, a thriller jacket, jeans, three shirts for Ty, one for me, dinner and a movie, got my nails done, got Ty's hair done all on what I made this first week and I still have so much money left. </span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="color: #e06666;"><strong>OMG</strong>- after an amazing weekend me four guy friends, Ty and another dancer went to IHOP restruant at 4am then went home and got drunk...</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="color: #e06666;"><strong>OMG-</strong> I get to dance to Michael Jackson, wear glitter, have the swagger of Ke$ha, and get hit on...for a living.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="color: #e06666;"><strong>OMG</strong>- Ty and I have incredible sex on the nights he sees me dance.</span></span></li>
</ul><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="color: #6aa84f;">And that my lovely ladies is the conclusion. </span></strong></div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="color: #6aa84f;">I love you all so much! Stay Classy!</span></strong></div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-lOup3hY3jso/TgDtmiihVGI/AAAAAAAAAjM/4XeDERHfYjQ/s1600/tumblr_lm86ycSfjP1qanyp4o1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="241" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-lOup3hY3jso/TgDtmiihVGI/AAAAAAAAAjM/4XeDERHfYjQ/s320/tumblr_lm86ycSfjP1qanyp4o1_500.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div align="center"></div><div style="text-align: left;"> </div><div align="left" style="text-align: center;"></div>pixistix14http://www.blogger.com/profile/13147607366996114311noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-394978157004372582.post-47860337383465059692011-07-26T13:20:00.001-04:002011-07-26T13:21:35.081-04:00Dollar Bills and Sweat<div style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="color: #e06666; font-size: large;">To repeat what I said last post: you girls fucking rule.</span></strong></div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="color: #e06666; font-size: large;">The acceptance I feel from you all makes me so happy!</span></strong></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-k62mmb8lHvs/Ti72pfa5o1I/AAAAAAAAAlg/4vId_9z2Thc/s1600/tumblr_lmj5alPv7I1qc4zdzo1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-k62mmb8lHvs/Ti72pfa5o1I/AAAAAAAAAlg/4vId_9z2Thc/s320/tumblr_lmj5alPv7I1qc4zdzo1_500.jpg" width="251" /></a></div><div align="center"></div><em><span style="color: #e06666;">Since none of my readers are pole dancers let me make a little list of slang words.</span></em><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong><u><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;">It's Pole Dancer Dictionary Time!</span></u></strong></div><span style="color: #a64d79;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: #a64d79;"><strong>Make it Rain-</strong> means a man throws a fist full of cash on you when you are dancing.</span><br />
<span style="color: #a64d79;"><strong>Make it Thunder-</strong> man throws so much cash it covers the whole stage</span><br />
<span style="color: #a64d79;"><strong>Gogo Dancer-</strong> A dancer who dances, usually on a pole, for cash but does not strip, she is covering all major areas: tits, ass crack, vajayjay.</span><br />
<span style="color: #a64d79;"><strong>Hustle the floor-</strong> talking to the customers between sets to try to get them to buy you: drinks, gifts, tip more, and buy private dances.</span><br />
<span style="color: #a64d79;"><strong>Floor Work-</strong> dancing the the floor of the stage, shaking your ass, spreading your legs, crawling sexually, and winking at tippers.</span><br />
<span style="color: #a64d79;"><strong>Sets</strong>- The time you are dancing..usually 1-4 songs.</span><br />
<span style="color: #a64d79;"><strong>Butterlying-</strong> sewing the back of your panties to make them smaller..looks like wings,</span><br />
<span style="color: #a64d79;"><strong>Pole Tricks-</strong> being on the pole and acrobatically manuevering yourself around it to fascinate the crowd.</span><br />
<span style="color: #a64d79;"><strong>Cashing In-</strong> Taking your ones to the bar and exchanging them for bigger bills.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-j7ghgveQaf4/Ti71gU_dnyI/AAAAAAAAAlc/MQIsGFjfpCA/s1600/Pole_Dancer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-j7ghgveQaf4/Ti71gU_dnyI/AAAAAAAAAlc/MQIsGFjfpCA/s400/Pole_Dancer.jpg" width="195" /></a></div><div align="center"></div><span style="color: #3d85c6;">So tuesday will make it a full week of stripping..and im up to about $400 dollars in tips. Although I took two days off... </span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">So i've worked 4 days... about 100$ a night on average. </span></strong></div><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6;">I'm having a great time.. I love the girls there and the atmosphere. I think working there is helping me so much.. The money isn't the best part of working there.. you have men buying you drinks all night, telling you how beautiful you every night and you get to dress up and dance your ass off.</span><br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br />
</span><br />
<strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">True enough you do get a heinous amount of bruises </span></strong><br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6;"><strong> b</strong><strong>ut for 100$ a night who wouldn't endure that?!</strong></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #38761d;">Another plus side is that I work nights... so 10-2 im working I get home and clean up, go to bed...wake up, get ready and go back to work. I have no time to eat a ton! I eat less than "normal" and work out more than I ever have. The celllulite in my legs is almost gone! its amazing!</span><br />
<span style="color: #38761d;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: #38761d;">I have a regular now ;) He's this buff puerto rican from New Jersey lol he always spends at least 50$ on me a night. </span><br />
<span style="color: #38761d;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: #38761d;">Hopefully I'll buy those red pills again and lose more weight... I'm tone now but I want to lost ten more pounds...<strong><strike>just in my stomach lol.</strike></strong></span><br />
<span style="color: #38761d;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: #38761d;">There is a dancer there who is wonderfully tiny... I envy her body. and she's had kids! she is like 90lbs... love her!</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Wu72x4MjyVU/Ti72s9J2JoI/AAAAAAAAAlk/tBr1FXsxrqE/s1600/tumblr_lowqptyWWR1qh7a1to1_500.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="222" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Wu72x4MjyVU/Ti72s9J2JoI/AAAAAAAAAlk/tBr1FXsxrqE/s320/tumblr_lowqptyWWR1qh7a1to1_500.png" width="320" /></a></div><div align="center"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong>Anyways I've got to do laundry :)</strong></div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong>And yes I'll post pics of my outfits soon!</strong></div>pixistix14http://www.blogger.com/profile/13147607366996114311noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-394978157004372582.post-8879198273800210022011-07-22T11:03:00.000-04:002011-07-22T11:03:44.533-04:00Pole Dancing Queen<div style="text-align: center;"><strong>You girls fucking rule.</strong></div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong>I did it.. I did the audition and was hired on the spot!</strong></div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong>I'm a regular now! I'm officially a Showgirl, a Pole Dancer, an Exotic Dancer!</strong></div><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;">Let me say something on behalf of pole dancer..they deserve so much more respect than they get.</span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;">After my first night (walked out with 80..worked on stage a total of 30 mins lol) I was sore as hell. </span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;">I literally felt as though two big strapping black men beat the shit out of me with two by fours. Its been over 24 hours since my last set and I still feel terrible.It's the most grueling workout I've ever done.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;">But there are results immediately...other than pole bruises and bright purple bruises on my knees from floor work,,,but im tone and tight with sexy legs unveiling themselves.</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><em><span style="color: #cc0000;">The girls there, for the most part, are great.</span></em></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-M52K4XACyz0/TimQizgWeJI/AAAAAAAAAlM/G4lOxH36gDY/s1600/imagesCA9CZIRZ.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-M52K4XACyz0/TimQizgWeJI/AAAAAAAAAlM/G4lOxH36gDY/s1600/imagesCA9CZIRZ.jpg" /></a></div><div align="center"></div><span style="color: #cc0000;">My first actual set on my first song some guy made it rain on me... I mean literally. </span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;">And after all the years of hearing pop songs sing about making it rain on a stripper or in the club I never got it...but once I felt a dozen ones shimmer down my body I understood why they write songs about it.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><strong>It's an amazing feeling because not every girl has gotten rained on so when you do..you feel special.</strong></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;">Later after my set I went backstage and changed and hustled the floor..just chatting up the men, so I talked to the "rain maker" guy and he told me I had the best body of any girl at the club :) that made me a happy little monster.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Lji2EtQUd4s/TimQwibPPMI/AAAAAAAAAlU/BALX2ozKHAE/s1600/tumblr_lmc0ttYZKJ1qeabiao1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Lji2EtQUd4s/TimQwibPPMI/AAAAAAAAAlU/BALX2ozKHAE/s320/tumblr_lmc0ttYZKJ1qeabiao1_500.jpg" width="228" /></a></div><div align="center"></div><span style="color: red;">So after all was said in done I made about 80 bucks my first day (but I had to pay the house fee and tipp the DJ) <em>Went home tired as a dog and ironed my cash.</em></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: red;">-Ty <strong>loves</strong> it now..he went and watched me dance and thought it was sexy as hell that I could arouse every man there and go home with him. </span><br />
<span style="color: red;">I'm his private dancer. </span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><strong><u>Seriously we fucked on a Charlie Sheen status the night he saw me dance.</u></strong></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TG-bmZmASp0/TimQp4Hwb0I/AAAAAAAAAlQ/pLu0AFs5yGQ/s1600/pole-dancing-leanback.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TG-bmZmASp0/TimQp4Hwb0I/AAAAAAAAAlQ/pLu0AFs5yGQ/s1600/pole-dancing-leanback.png" /></a></div><div align="center"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">So I've got to get ready.. I work 10pm-2am tonight.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">Straighten my hair, get dolled up..roll in a pool full of glitter<em>..the usual</em>.. lmao</span></div><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;">I love this job...I work so much that I don't have time to eat and if I did I'd work it off easily.</span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;">Plus..as you girls know.. I love glitter and I get to wear it for work..and heels and flirt and let guys buy me drinks all night long :) Hehehe</span> <strong>I'm a happy little monster</strong>!<br />
<br />
<strong>Btw my Stage name is</strong> <span style="color: #cc0000;">Diana...</span> <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4hU4W7mSL_U/TimROqVpemI/AAAAAAAAAlY/q4gpdVgpfCM/s1600/Dirty_Diana.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4hU4W7mSL_U/TimROqVpemI/AAAAAAAAAlY/q4gpdVgpfCM/s320/Dirty_Diana.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div align="center"></div>pixistix14http://www.blogger.com/profile/13147607366996114311noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-394978157004372582.post-66040589715236257832011-07-19T07:58:00.000-04:002011-07-19T07:58:07.396-04:00Being a Stripper<div style="text-align: center;"><strong><u><span style="color: #ffd966; font-size: large;">Thank you all for the generous compliments on my last post and pictures!</span></u></strong></div><br />
<span style="color: #93c47d;">I haven't read everyones blog lately because Ty and I are having some serious problems.</span><br />
<span style="color: #93c47d;">Ever since he cheated/lied last November I've had trust issues..and he's only slipped up a couple times but forgiving him has taken a lot out of me. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #93c47d;">We are very different and I've changed a lot to make his life comfortable.</span><br />
<span style="color: #93c47d;">I'm not complaining because I love him but I feel so miserable at times.</span><br />
<span style="color: #93c47d;">I was so upset that last week I started looking at new housing..started thinking I'd leave him.</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #93c47d;">Sometimes I feel like I give and give...</span></div><br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6;">So last night my bestie wanted to go to a local strip club in order to get a job there..</span><br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6;">(She's a stripper at another club but needs something closer to home.)</span><br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6;">And we decided to make a night of it.. The bestie, me and Ty went to the club. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6;">We tipped the strippers and we were there for a few hours.</span><br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6;">Ty had never been to a strip club...but let me make more sense of this...</span><br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6;">This was NOT a strip club..its a go go bar. So in essence they are pole dancers in bikinis.. never nude.</span><br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6;">The dancers don't have private VIP rooms and they dont do peek shows and there is no touching policies.</span><br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6;">Ty was always skeptical and I had told him long before that I wanted to be a go go dancer.</span><br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6;">When my bestie started being an actual stripper I was jealous. She had a job that didn't interfere with her taxes and finacial aid.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #c27ba0;">Ty and I struggle with bills although he'd never tell me....</span><br />
<span style="color: #c27ba0;">I know he wishes I had a job but I just can't. I barely get enough in student loans to cover my schooling and having a job would remove my grants.. I'd have to drop out.</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><strong><u><span style="color: #c27ba0;">Schooling is the most important thing to me and my family. </span></u></strong></div><br />
<span style="color: #c27ba0;">There are things I need that Ty can't give me and I dont have the money for.</span><br />
<span style="color: #c27ba0;">I need to get a car, doctors appointments, school books, a new laptop.</span><br />
<span style="color: #c27ba0;">So go go dancing seemed like a great option to me... the club is very nice and respectable.</span><br />
<span style="color: #c27ba0;">You work for tips but if I try to save up I could stay in school and get the things I need.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ea9999;">Ty had a great time at the club and saw how harmless that place is..</span><br />
<span style="color: #ea9999;">He loosened up, tossed ones, blushed and even had a favorite.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ea9999;">I didnt get jealous I know that its harmless.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ea9999;">When my bestie *Lena went to get a application Ty knew I wanted to do it too </span><br />
<span style="color: #ea9999;">so he told me to go fill out an application and he trusted me.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ea9999;">I went to the bar with Lena and filled out the application. The owner immediately liked us.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ea9999;">Ty was next to me and Lena the whole time while the manager talked about an audition..</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #ea9999;"><strong><u>The audition is tonight</u></strong>.</span></div><span style="color: #ea9999;">Once we got home Ty's smile and easy-going habit had faded.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ea9999;">He looked hurt and angry. He told me he didn't want me to do it and made me feel like shit.</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BwAu2Puy3iw/TiVwfovqKVI/AAAAAAAAAlI/BL8jqJeMFOc/s1600/pole.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" m$="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BwAu2Puy3iw/TiVwfovqKVI/AAAAAAAAAlI/BL8jqJeMFOc/s400/pole.jpg" width="299" /></a></div><div align="center"></div><em><span style="color: #ffd966;">I was confused. Why would he tell me to apply then use it against me later?</span></em><br />
<em><span style="color: #ffd966;">I feel like he wanted to embarass me by asking about a job and then telling me no so i'd have to go throught the embarassment of explaining to my bestie and the owner that i can't do it.</span></em><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ffd966;">Eventually he came around and said I can do it...but it feels like a trap. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966;">He's doing it to make me look like a low life and leave me.</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="color: #ffd966;">I never do things for myself.</span></strong></div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="color: #ffd966;">He hates me.</span></strong></div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="color: #ffd966;">I should just leave him now and beat him to the punch.</span></strong></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="color: #ffd966;">What do I do?</span></strong></div>pixistix14http://www.blogger.com/profile/13147607366996114311noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-394978157004372582.post-55408741856695636562011-07-14T14:48:00.001-04:002011-07-14T15:25:29.263-04:00Nicki Minaj a` Trois<div align="center"><span style="color: #e06666; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So I got bored and decided I wanted to play with my halloween idea to be nicki minaj..</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color: #e06666; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So I made myself up to look like her..</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color: #e06666; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What do you all think?</span></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-IW4WlfAwZrI/Th85jFajFlI/AAAAAAAAAkk/s_FQMfdqFPs/s1600/DSCF4022-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-IW4WlfAwZrI/Th85jFajFlI/AAAAAAAAAkk/s_FQMfdqFPs/s320/DSCF4022-1.jpg" width="310" /></a></div><br />
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</div><div align="center"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-03fpM5DPj5o/Th9CdeGF2xI/AAAAAAAAAk8/QBhxVKVlQcw/s1600/DSCF4018-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-03fpM5DPj5o/Th9CdeGF2xI/AAAAAAAAAk8/QBhxVKVlQcw/s320/DSCF4018-1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-SqfeEZ1jRpQ/Th9CoMGX4mI/AAAAAAAAAlE/Xu52J6wrupA/s1600/DSCF4029-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="285" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-SqfeEZ1jRpQ/Th9CoMGX4mI/AAAAAAAAAlE/Xu52J6wrupA/s320/DSCF4029-1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
</div><div align="center"></div>pixistix14http://www.blogger.com/profile/13147607366996114311noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-394978157004372582.post-31565544369194451982011-07-12T04:45:00.000-04:002011-07-12T04:45:29.462-04:00Embracing Bones<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #8e7cc3; font-size: x-small;">I sincerely want to thank all of you for your lovely comments...</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #8e7cc3; font-size: x-small;">especially from Ruby Love Bird and Helen, and Liz you guys are great. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #8e7cc3; font-size: x-small;"><em>You all are. </em></span></div><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966;">So lately (<span style="font-size: x-small;">this last week</span>) I've been on a carb binge...<strike>kind of</strike>. Just an unholy amount of cereal, cheeze nips and crackers but I think I'm passed it. -Still no purging which makes me <strong>very</strong> happy.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #93c47d;">The sadness is creeping in again. Not sad for any reason really, and not sad enough to disable me, just sad enough for me to mentally sigh all day long. It kind of feels like when you have a crush and you can't get that person off your mind only you picture cold concrete stained with ciggarettes and bones filled with dust.</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><em><span style="font-size: large;">I had under 400 calories today.</span></em></div><br />
<span style="color: #c27ba0;">I took two diet pills they are like cocaine you aren't hyper but you'd die if you had to sit still for a moment.</span><br />
<span style="color: #c27ba0;">So I worked out in between thinspo fishing, my term for scouring the internet for thinspo. </span><br />
<span style="color: #c27ba0;">Some days you don't catch a thing like there was an oil spill on the thin community, but today the fish were biting.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #c27ba0;">I'm planning on finishing off this bottle of diet pills before Friday and nibbling bits of food till then.Ty comes home and I promised myself I'd look perfect for him. I will. My fat ass and abs are sore from working them out <strike>too</strike> hard. It will be worth it when his large warm hands are on me. </span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><em><span style="font-size: large;"><strong>Seriously</strong> his hands are greek god-like. </span></em></div><br />
<strong><span style="color: #ea9999;">I have so much to say but I will scare you all off if I write too much...</span></strong><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #93c47d;">I've never been very secretive from Ty just because I hate the feeling of isolating him but I'm going to diet more quietly.. I usually tell him everything about my habits but I think I can do better if he doesnt know. </span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">100lbs 100lbs 100lbs 100lbs </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">wish.starve.wish.sweat.wish</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">100lbs 100lbs 100lbs 100lbs</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong><u><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #93c47d;">Thinspo</span> <span style="color: #ffd966;">Time For My</span> <span style="color: #ea9999;">Sexy Monsters</span></span></u></strong></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-oiUrsBdnhow/ThwIyXPqyAI/AAAAAAAAAjk/FrQ-pfkapII/s1600/tumblr_lo5bjsXKgt1qiccwjo1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" m$="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-oiUrsBdnhow/ThwIyXPqyAI/AAAAAAAAAjk/FrQ-pfkapII/s320/tumblr_lo5bjsXKgt1qiccwjo1_500.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MTP68kmERDs/ThwI3fL4itI/AAAAAAAAAjs/RGetaMPDSOE/s1600/tumblr_llfxe9uaGe1qayyt7o1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" m$="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MTP68kmERDs/ThwI3fL4itI/AAAAAAAAAjs/RGetaMPDSOE/s320/tumblr_llfxe9uaGe1qayyt7o1_500.jpg" width="213" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-OvJ3euqQkIs/ThwI5icfseI/AAAAAAAAAjw/aqkHghNUim4/s1600/tumblr_lgnrnrueA11qduxano1_400.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" m$="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-OvJ3euqQkIs/ThwI5icfseI/AAAAAAAAAjw/aqkHghNUim4/s320/tumblr_lgnrnrueA11qduxano1_400.jpg" width="227" /></a></div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-WSALNW0n8Vc/ThwJB8tFleI/AAAAAAAAAj4/0W6TXFlFWYc/s1600/tumblr_lnrs04m2DK1qb4doro1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="298" m$="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-WSALNW0n8Vc/ThwJB8tFleI/AAAAAAAAAj4/0W6TXFlFWYc/s320/tumblr_lnrs04m2DK1qb4doro1_500.gif" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gFkv_Jobw0A/ThwJFAdCf7I/AAAAAAAAAj8/BIDAsusBjX0/s1600/tumblr_lnsudvZNDI1qfno2ao1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" m$="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gFkv_Jobw0A/ThwJFAdCf7I/AAAAAAAAAj8/BIDAsusBjX0/s320/tumblr_lnsudvZNDI1qfno2ao1_500.jpg" width="239" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Fis30CRKCmQ/ThwJG-AJ9KI/AAAAAAAAAkA/h8DQLC91ooM/s1600/tumblr_lnwa3jU8Ef1qb9yzqo1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" m$="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Fis30CRKCmQ/ThwJG-AJ9KI/AAAAAAAAAkA/h8DQLC91ooM/s320/tumblr_lnwa3jU8Ef1qb9yzqo1_500.jpg" width="224" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-sgGfCfM4yhA/ThwJLx6n-bI/AAAAAAAAAkE/NaebtH8wuEg/s1600/tumblr_lmun4b6SFl1qglz4yo1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" m$="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-sgGfCfM4yhA/ThwJLx6n-bI/AAAAAAAAAkE/NaebtH8wuEg/s320/tumblr_lmun4b6SFl1qglz4yo1_500.jpg" width="241" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div>pixistix14http://www.blogger.com/profile/13147607366996114311noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-394978157004372582.post-79858185782048477092011-07-09T21:05:00.000-04:002011-07-09T21:05:58.767-04:00PMS(uicide)<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I fear PMS will one day cause me to kill myself.. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As I was updating my facebook this is what I was writing in my status...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">knowing I could not post it i'll post it here.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">No worries..I am not killing myself</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">At least not today.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<blockquote><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am thinking of killing myself. I am fat and disgusting. I no longer see a good reason to live. my life is merely a compilation of flesh and air..a construction that to me is not worth this type of pain. slice me open and release from pain. this life I can endure no longer. death take me lover and lets sleep forever in a bed 6 feet below thier feet.</span></blockquote><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Dl8NqFhWB-M/TKicbK8gXdI/AAAAAAAAAJ4/evCHnX_xid8/s1600/measuaring.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="286" m$="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Dl8NqFhWB-M/TKicbK8gXdI/AAAAAAAAAJ4/evCHnX_xid8/s320/measuaring.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div align="center"></div>pixistix14http://www.blogger.com/profile/13147607366996114311noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-394978157004372582.post-80114091147562944092011-07-06T12:04:00.001-04:002011-07-09T20:52:55.899-04:00Explanation<div style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="color: #8e7cc3; font-size: large;">Thank you....<u> all of you.</u></span></strong></div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="color: #8e7cc3; font-size: large;"> I had <u>no</u> idea I had followers that cared so much.</span></strong></div><br />
<strong><span style="color: #c27ba0;">I've been a wreck lately just because:</span></strong><br />
<span style="color: #c27ba0;">A.) I feel like a fat failure</span><br />
<span style="color: #c27ba0;">B.) My beautiful best friends looks a million times prettier than I will EVER be.</span><br />
<span style="color: #c27ba0;">C.) Finally and mostly, Ty is leaving for nearly a month out to sea.</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-NuV66wxdmOQ/TLrxOQ_cVGI/AAAAAAAAANA/wZlu7NcxS14/s1600/imagesCAU7AMYA.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-NuV66wxdmOQ/TLrxOQ_cVGI/AAAAAAAAANA/wZlu7NcxS14/s1600/imagesCAU7AMYA.jpg" /></a></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"></div><span style="color: #93c47d;">Anywhoozle my 20th birthday is 29 days away (august 5th) and I'm sad about it. I never have good birthdays and I know most people say that but I'm<strong> dead</strong> serious when I say I<u> NEVER</u> have good birthdays... I'm not sad that my birthday is going to suck I'm sad because I will no longer be a teenager.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6;">I know most people as children couldn't wait to get older and be an adult..</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Not me.</span></strong></div><span style="color: #3d85c6;">I was so eager to be a teen and even happier to be one.</span><br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6;">Being a teenager is perfect...you are old enough to know better and young enough to not give a fuck.</span><br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6;">Like charlie sheen<em>..only without the pornstars and wrinkles.</em></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #e06666;">So about my best friend...She is natalie portman and I'm kim kardashian. Except reverse the roles. She is the pretty in pink glamour girl and I'm the art history major, book reading indie girl. </span><br />
<span style="color: #e06666;">I feel so ugly next to her... It's not that she's smaller, she's only one size smaller but our body shapes are so different. Same height but she is small chested, small hips and southern bell face.. I'm large chested, large hipped, curvy ass,<em> average</em> face.</span> <br />
<br />
<span style="color: purple;"><u>This is her:</u></span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4b24--eMtZw/ThSF1A04tXI/AAAAAAAAAjc/bhUS0zf4UFQ/s1600/Natalie-Portman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4b24--eMtZw/ThSF1A04tXI/AAAAAAAAAjc/bhUS0zf4UFQ/s320/Natalie-Portman.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><u><span style="color: purple;">This is me:</span></u></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-jURqpXaOVRk/ThSF8M2aQZI/AAAAAAAAAjg/g2xPSRdZ0tg/s1600/Kim-Kardashian-0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-jURqpXaOVRk/ThSF8M2aQZI/AAAAAAAAAjg/g2xPSRdZ0tg/s320/Kim-Kardashian-0.jpg" width="302" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: x-small;"><strong>Two bodies of desire from men...but hers is the one I want.</strong></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: x-small;"><strong>FML</strong></span></div>Since Ty is gone I will be hauling my fat ass to the gym and hopefully following the ABC diet. <br />
Maybe a fast...<br />
He comes back on the 26-27th by that time I will have gotten a sexier bod, had my nails done, hair done and went tanning. I want him to come home to see me perfect.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: x-small;"><u>and he will.</u></span> </div><br />
<em>I want to be perfect on my birthday.</em><br />
<br />
I love you all. I truly do.pixistix14http://www.blogger.com/profile/13147607366996114311noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-394978157004372582.post-27548531370117240922011-07-05T04:47:00.000-04:002011-07-05T04:47:59.181-04:00I am disgusting<em><span style="color: #073763; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm so ugly and fat. I deserve to die..</span></em><br />
<br />
<em><span style="color: #073763; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">whale whale whale</span></em><br />
<br />
<em><span style="color: #073763; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Im a goddamn sea creature. </span></em><br />
<br />
<em><span style="color: #073763; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I hate myself once again.</span></em><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><em>I'll explain later...</em></span></div><br />
<em><span style="color: #073763; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm worthless...I'm just another fat girl in a fat world wishing she could find hope within hipbones.</span></em><br />
<br />
<em><span style="color: #073763; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm so ugly and fat. I deserve to die.</span></em><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wERFcOQr2fs/ThLPqE8ipOI/AAAAAAAAAjY/ObVXMaFUf4o/s1600/tumblr_lc3jeaMnm81qd721so1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="211" i$="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wERFcOQr2fs/ThLPqE8ipOI/AAAAAAAAAjY/ObVXMaFUf4o/s320/tumblr_lc3jeaMnm81qd721so1_500.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div align="center"></div>pixistix14http://www.blogger.com/profile/13147607366996114311noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-394978157004372582.post-40100309096630181392011-06-30T12:27:00.000-04:002011-06-30T12:27:13.414-04:00Failed<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The day after the last post I got really sick..</span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ty suggested I eat some soup..so I did and since I've been eating.</span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I feel huge and disguting.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><em>I am pathetic. </em></span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-P4xfXyNtN1s/TLPA4zTNXeI/AAAAAAAAALk/GbDmCXweX-E/s1600/brittany-murphy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-P4xfXyNtN1s/TLPA4zTNXeI/AAAAAAAAALk/GbDmCXweX-E/s320/brittany-murphy.jpg" width="231" /></a></div>pixistix14http://www.blogger.com/profile/13147607366996114311noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-394978157004372582.post-4852424778136804892011-06-27T09:46:00.000-04:002011-06-27T09:46:41.242-04:00Computer broke...I'm still fasting but I got really sick after those laxies... <br />
<br />
I probably shouldn't have taken six.<br />
<br />
I had an unsweetened tea the next day to help so it wasn't water. :( <br />
<br />
I've walked sooo much I'm sore and tired. <br />
<br />
To top it all off Ty and I haven't been doing well.<br />
I've been holding this relationship for a couple months. <br />
He works everyday and when he comes hom he's so tired that<br />
all he wants is to sleep, eat, shower and have sex.<br />
Which is typical for men but I give so much that<br />
I just want him to hang out or be interested in me..<br />
<br />
I hurt.<br />
My body hurts.<br />
My heart aches.<br />
I hurt.pixistix14http://www.blogger.com/profile/13147607366996114311noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-394978157004372582.post-36184089345421314272011-06-23T19:39:00.001-04:002011-06-24T05:02:14.989-04:00Fasting day 4.<div style="color: #a64d79; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">OMG I wanna die... I am feeling terrible..</span></div><div style="color: #a64d79; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Still going strong though..</span></div><div style="color: #a64d79; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">I feel as though I've be pissing since I woke up...</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-H_S4mzpAddE/TgPOqkrBDrI/AAAAAAAAAjU/GbPFAY9nYKg/s1600/tumblr_ln55c9nbI21qi39fio1_400.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="312" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-H_S4mzpAddE/TgPOqkrBDrI/AAAAAAAAAjU/GbPFAY9nYKg/s320/tumblr_ln55c9nbI21qi39fio1_400.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="color: #a64d79; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="color: #a64d79; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Wish me luck! Tomorrow is the DREADED DAY 5!!</span></div><div style="color: #a64d79; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="color: #a64d79; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">(Early morning June 24th)</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-size: large;">-I don't know if it's safe to take laxies while fasting but I did. I feel like stuff needs to come out. My stomach is flatter today...I just wish my thighs would disappear. I'm feeling okay now... I was just so tired from day three. </span></i><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>I feel fat. Starving is easier than feeling fat.</i><br />
</span></div>pixistix14http://www.blogger.com/profile/13147607366996114311noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-394978157004372582.post-86446246711235396802011-06-22T15:38:00.000-04:002011-06-22T15:38:55.478-04:00Fasting day 3. Short post again!<div style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: center;">I am going strong! Yay! </div><div style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I actually thought it'd be terrible because I exerted SO much energy yesterday but I had a long nights sleep and woke up refreshed and not hungry!</div><div style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I had some MAJOR hunger pains last night at about 7pm but they went away after 30 mins or so.</div><div style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Thank you for the lovely comments and Thank you for complimenting my looks although I'm certain that girl is a million times more beautiful!</div><div style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-iy93ZATzars/TgJEdxaC_fI/AAAAAAAAAjQ/79oPJBgK1rY/s1600/tumblr_ljjjlkYi0d1qifcgjo1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-iy93ZATzars/TgJEdxaC_fI/AAAAAAAAAjQ/79oPJBgK1rY/s400/tumblr_ljjjlkYi0d1qifcgjo1_500.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #38761d; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I don't think I'll be doing videos every day... they suck to upload but I want to do them every five days with weigh ins.</div><div style="color: #38761d; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #38761d; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I love you all and thank you for supporting me through this fast! Next big mile marker is day five which is Friday and I'll be 1/6 of the way finished.</div><div style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div>pixistix14http://www.blogger.com/profile/13147607366996114311noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-394978157004372582.post-84770801308025186372011-06-21T15:15:00.000-04:002011-06-21T15:15:07.371-04:00Fasting day 2. Short post!<div style="color: #e06666; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: center;">Thanks for all the support!</div><div style="color: #e06666; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">So far so good. I didn't feel good AT ALL yesterday but today I'm doing fine!</div><div style="color: #e06666; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #e06666; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: center;">Nothing but water! So zero calories yesterday and today!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-lOup3hY3jso/TgDtmiihVGI/AAAAAAAAAjM/4XeDERHfYjQ/s1600/tumblr_lm86ycSfjP1qanyp4o1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="241" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-lOup3hY3jso/TgDtmiihVGI/AAAAAAAAAjM/4XeDERHfYjQ/s320/tumblr_lm86ycSfjP1qanyp4o1_500.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="color: #e06666; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #e06666; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Day two is usually easier than day on so this was expected. I'm not posting a video today because my apartment furniture arrived so I'm setting up stuff all day!</div><div style="color: #e06666; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #e06666; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Love you all! Keep my strong!</div><div style="color: #e06666; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><span style="color: #e06666; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">-xoxoxo</span><br />
<br />
p.s- isn't that girl beautiful! ENVY!pixistix14http://www.blogger.com/profile/13147607366996114311noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-394978157004372582.post-83876761252424679742011-06-20T15:37:00.000-04:002011-06-20T15:37:29.825-04:00100th Wonderous Post!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nDOZClL405k/Tf-cbx2uJTI/AAAAAAAAAhY/naMSG9n4rOQ/s1600/re_large.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="190" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nDOZClL405k/Tf-cbx2uJTI/AAAAAAAAAhY/naMSG9n4rOQ/s320/re_large.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"></div><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><u><span style="font-size: large;"><i><b>YAY! </b></i></span></u></div><div style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: left;">Thanks to all of you wonderful support and love over the year I've reached my 100th post!</div><div style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: left;">Over the last 100 posts I have gone from 160 pounds down to the one-teens and fluctuated.</div><div style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: left;">I've moved apartments, started going to college, struggled with my love life, had ups and mental downs, got a pet bunny, and overall had a great year. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #e06666; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;">So, today is the beginning of my 30 day fast! June 20th-July 20th!</div><div style="color: #e06666; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;">I posted my video on PT as well as youtube.</div><div style="color: #e06666; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;">I will try to update as much as possible.</div><div style="color: #e06666; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;">I'm not even hungry and the day is nearly over! </div><div style="color: #e06666; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;">Please give me support and I promise to not let you all down.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/xmiqB1UGue8?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #38761d; text-align: center;"><u><b>Sorry I look like crap! </b></u></div><div style="color: #38761d; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;">Now for some <b>fun and happy thinspo!</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-hzcT0ewsHyI/Tf-fjLcTxsI/AAAAAAAAAhc/h2dMw2XQYkA/s1600/11_large.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-hzcT0ewsHyI/Tf-fjLcTxsI/AAAAAAAAAhc/h2dMw2XQYkA/s320/11_large.jpg" width="213" /></a></div><br />
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</div>pixistix14http://www.blogger.com/profile/13147607366996114311noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-394978157004372582.post-75040974710076088372011-06-14T14:30:00.001-04:002011-06-14T14:45:18.918-04:0099th Post<div style="color: #6aa84f; text-align: center;"><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><u><b><span style="color: #e06666; font-size: large;">Welcome Little Monsters to the 99th Post!</span></b></u></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-S0Bm_K1UpHE/TfesGmcYbfI/AAAAAAAAAhM/LfytOcZrnmE/s1600/tumblr_l7jcpdpBzM1qa2txho1_400_large.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-S0Bm_K1UpHE/TfesGmcYbfI/AAAAAAAAAhM/LfytOcZrnmE/s320/tumblr_l7jcpdpBzM1qa2txho1_400_large.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><u><b><span style="color: #e06666; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></b></u></div><div style="color: #a64d79; text-align: center;"><u><b><span style="color: #e06666; font-size: large;"> </span></b></u></div><div style="color: magenta; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><u><b>News Flash-Me!</b></u></span></div><div style="color: magenta; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">- It is six days till the start of the 30 day fast!</span></span></div><div style="color: magenta; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">-It is exactly one week till summer!</span></span></div><div style="color: magenta; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">-My boyfriend comes home tomorrow from his sea trail!</span></span></div><div style="color: magenta; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">-It's 52 days until my 20th birthday! ( freaking out! )</span></span></div><div style="color: magenta; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">- And I love all of you</span></span></div><div style="color: #741b47; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #e06666; font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">Today is going to be a special post it's the 99th post! </span></span></div><div style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">I'll make my 100th post on the first day of the 30 day fast which will include a video.</span></span></div><div style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">Today's issue of mind-blowing glittery eating disordered post will include:</span></span></div><div style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"> my favorite thinspo just for you, a link to my thinspo tumblr, and one new picture of moi. </span></span></div><div style="color: #674ea7; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #e06666; font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="color: #674ea7; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="color: #e06666;"><u style="color: #674ea7;">But first... the bad news</u><span style="color: #674ea7;"> (optional)</span></span></i></span></div><div style="color: #351c75; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>-I have been so terribly lonely lately that all I can do is cry. Ty is always out to sea ( he's in the Navy) I'm beginning to hate the tides for stealing him from me. My family is in crumbles and I'm 3,000 miles away from anyone I know. I don't have any friends other than *Lena and she's too busy for me. So everyday I just sit here and remember the life I once had. I was happy. I had literally hundreds of friends...there were people who wanted to be me. All that has faded...I have faded.</i></span></div><div style="color: #674ea7; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #6aa84f; text-align: center;"><u><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: magenta;">The Link to My Tumblr </span></span></span></b></u></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #e06666; font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://pixiestix014.tumblr.com/">http://pixiestix014.tumblr.com/</a></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #e06666; font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="color: #f1c232; text-align: center;"><u><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">New Picture of Me</span></span></b></u></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-lZhzFYGub6Q/TfemdhAufWI/AAAAAAAAAf8/6tVDa-afNYI/s1600/DSCF3005.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-lZhzFYGub6Q/TfemdhAufWI/AAAAAAAAAf8/6tVDa-afNYI/s320/DSCF3005.JPG" width="169" /></a></div><div style="color: #0b5394; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><u><br />
</u></b></span></div><div style="color: #0b5394; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><u>Bitchin' <span style="color: #a64d79;">Thintastic</span> <span style="color: #6aa84f;">Thinspo!</span></u></b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><u><b><span style="color: #e06666; font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></b></u></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RF7Gk7rHSSU/TfeobAFeCYI/AAAAAAAAAgA/qtuAEJLTDBw/s1600/91965956_large.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RF7Gk7rHSSU/TfeobAFeCYI/AAAAAAAAAgA/qtuAEJLTDBw/s320/91965956_large.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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