Yesterday was my Tyler day... it went great. I took him shopping and he bought some of the hottest outfits I've ever seen (who knew he had such hot style?!) I mean I saw him try them on and immediately went into monster mode ;) And I went shopping too...not a lot though, just some panties, and long sleeve shirts (for winter) and some new work out tenni-shoes, and two pairs of jeans.. I had to almost squeeze into the hollister size 7's..my ass is having a war with them.. but they are size seven! I want to be a size 5 before the month is over... I know I should be proud to be a 27-29 & a 7... because I used to be a size 30(womens) 9-11 (juniors) in april..but then at the mall I went to Papya and I tried on a pair of 7's that were too tight! I almost cried right there... I immediately regretted the 400 calories I had uptil then... FUCK I was so depressed the rest of the night. All that went through my head is "ok, I'm not gonna eat for 10 days!" I know how tyler hates when I'm depressed about my fat..so I hid it deep down inside.
I'm so fucking huge, and ugly and gross...
I wanna starve to death or rip out large chunks of fat from my skin and show my body who's boss...
I'll read everyones blogs and leave tons of comments because I might not post for awhile.. I just had breakfast while writing this... I have to go purge.
I love you girls... stay strong for me.. I feel like a huge let down!
FML- I hate myself.
cheer up =[
ReplyDeletexxx
Aww, that was such a sad post :( Cheer up sweetness, you have a wonderful boyfriend who loves you and im sure everything is going to be okay soon .. *supportive hugs*
ReplyDeleteX Lindsay ..
please try cheer up babe..... im here for you if you ever need someone to talk to about anything.... I can understand how you feel.... i always get depressed after shopping for pants and finding the size i want is too small.... shopping is evil! xoxoxoxoxoxo love ya girl keep your head up
ReplyDeleteYou're lovely...I'm huge:)xxx
ReplyDeleteStay strong sweetheart <3
ReplyDelete