Sarcasm, Eating Disorders, College Life, and everything else.. Oh and for those who hate cursing.. Fuck you. Just kidding.. But seriously.

Oct 15, 2010

You Are Not Alone/Thinspo

Thank you!
I want to let you all know that because of what you said and some Michael Jackson magic (I'll explain later) that I am staying with Tyler because I know everyone makes mistakes. He is sorry, He does love me, and we are working hard to get back the trust. So I'm much better now and the relationship recovery begins.

Michael Jackson Magic
-This is pretty much directed towards billiejean because she is as crazy about MJ as I am, but it will also show you guys how dead serious I am about Michael! So the other night I went to pick up tyler when he got off duty (he's in  the navy) I was still undecieded about trusting him ever again and felt so alone.. then I got in the car and turned on the radio. Michael Jackson's "You are not Alone" was playing and the lyrics spoke to me and reassured me the MJ was always watching me and saying that Tyler was the right choice. It sounds crazy to you guys but I believe In MJ.
Thin Talk
-So I've successfully fasted for 4 whole days now, I had two days over the last weekend where I ate because I was depressed (ugg I know) but since then NO FOOD! not even a crumb!

-I took a lax last night (TMI WARNING) and It grinded my gears all morning, I was so sick :(

-Yesterday I worked out for 3 solid hours (on no food!) I biked 5 miles, did weights and abs and elliptical, and treadmill then my circuit training class (which burns 1000 calories an hour)

-My calorie intake waas like negative 2000 or some awesome bullshit.

-My new bestie IRL, Lena, is just like me and skinny obsessed. She wanted to try lida so I gave her a pack (dont worry I made her research it first and gave her the Low-Down)

Tyler Talk
Tyler's Grandma passed away and he's been so down lately... R.I.P
-His other grams (we call her nan) she chatted to me on facebook and asked how we were doing. And she told me that she quote- "I know he is just crazy about you. He's my favorite grandson and since when he loves he really means LOVE" she also told me that his pappy was so mad that Tyler broke my heart that he's gonna kick his butt. She went on to tell me all the great things Tyler has told her about me. Which was so sweet and surprising because I didn't know that he told her that much about me. Tyler loves his family, and it's obvious he wants me to be a part of his forever.
 I do truly love him.

My Phobia- Dedicated to SickBitch
So I laughed so hard when I saw that you were terrified about worms, but then again I was being a TOTAL hypocrite lmao. I know how hard it must be when people think you're weird because your phobia... but don't! I have a "odd phobia" too. I'm terrified of Garden Gnomes.. I mean  I won't date a guy who has one in his yard lol I won't walk down a street with them and I can't watch Wallace and Gromit because I scream. And due to the fact that the Travelocity has Gnomes as a mascot I can't watch the Amazing Race... or TV most of the time.. They are fucking terrifying.
-Once, three years ago my so called bitch of a friend thought it would be jolly fun to put a little gnome in my mail box (she lived next to me) and after school we walked home together and I always check the mail well... surprise SUR-FUCKING-PRISE I put my hand in and there was the GNOME! I screamed so fkn hard I went to my room and turned on all the lights, hid under my covers and cried. She laughed her ass off for a fkn week. I refused to check that mailbox for at least a month or two.

Personal Thinspo Time
I've always wanted to be someone else's thinspo, so these are all pictures of my, except the drawing.. I drew that. lol
These pics are almost a week old.. but tell me what you think!

My pink studded monster shoes and those are BAGGY (yay) size 7 hollister denim jeans (no spandex blend crap)

A Picture I drew a couple weeks ago.

This is me outside my apartments

IDK if you guys like the FUCK YOU type of thinspo but this was over the weekend and it's me.

My legs and the ever growing gap between my fat ass thighs..


  1. Your phobia made me laugh SO HARD!! :D I think everyone's got at least one ridiculous and completely irrational phobia. The Kevin Bacon phobia has led me to hiding in coffee shops, resulting in me being 20 mins late for work... (I swear to god I saw him walking down 14th street in NYC and I PANICKED!!).

    Did you have a traumatic experience with a garden gnome? I know I was conditioned to fear worms (mum, and aunt, and my nanny were all terrified, so I was fecked from the start). A friend of mine has a serious phobia of midgets (like he FREAKS if he sees one in real life, or even on tv). Another friend is terrified of onions. And my older sis is so freaked out by sharks she won't even go in a bath tub in case a shark attacks her through the drain. :/

    Humans are bizarre creatures.


  2. Wow, beautiful thinspo! Your drawings are amzing, you're so talented. GREAT job with the fasting. I'm on my third day right now (:

    All my love,


  3. wow your workout and intake has completely BLOWN MY MIND. you are a machiiiiiine :P
    awesome thinspo too :)i wish i could draw like you!
    hooray for you and tyler, i hope you guys get back on track real fast :)


  4. ahahah hilarious phobia but i completely understand....sometimes our irrational mind gets the better of us! i'm completely afraid of sudden things - sudden loud noises, electric shocks..i refuse to close the car door by touching the metal (i always push the window) because i don't want an electric shock. but the gnome thing is a couple of steps further i think haha. your pictures are beautiful - YOU are beautiful. your fasting and exercise is inspirational.
    stay strongxx

  5. i think ur sooo preatty and im 100% jealous of ur legs, they are the thin i wish mine were....

  6. you'll be my thinspo. wwoof is an organisation that allows you to participate in organic farming, do farming, building a local school, teach English etc. i joined the wwoof nz and nepal one.. nepal one has a brighter outlook for me, in life.. yea, haha coz i take things for granted, and working on a farm requires manual labour. so burn off some calories there! one +ve factor is that you just pay for your international flight, the rest is taken care of. like accomodation and food matters. it's a way of life too. i also inquired on the wwoof eco adventure. thought of everest base trekking (16 days!) ahhhhhh! i cant stop typing, this is exciting. i got up and started calculating on my savings! okokay i should stop typing now.

    :D hey do you um, wanna text or if you have msn? we'd do offline messages or sth?


  7. You're a stunner! & I love your shoes :)
    All the best with tyler- if you're both on the same page now I'm sure you can work everything out! Keep up the amazing work!! xxx

  8. Garden Gnomes? *smiles* I can't talk though. I used to have a phobia of female police officers. Yes I know. Weird but I'd run in the opposite direction or hide somewhere. Not good when they are a frequent sight...


  9. omg omg omg omg on your working out and fasting! FUCKING HELL UR DOING SO WELL! well we all know its bad but in our warped minds its great lol

    RIP MJ...i believe in him too babe... he always gets me through and his music works magic.... xoxoxoxoxo im glad to know im not the only obsessed one.. Thanks for loving him as much as me :)

  10. You are really an inspiration. I cannot exercise if I dont eat 'properly' much less on fasting mode. You are so my inspiration.