Sarcasm, Eating Disorders, College Life, and everything else.. Oh and for those who hate cursing.. Fuck you. Just kidding.. But seriously.

Aug 2, 2010

Dirty Diana

So since I started the pill turns out I was actually more like 148lbs the first day, and I'm on day four of the pill I'm down to 143! I lost 5lbs! YES!
I had an episode last night.. I wanted to kill myself. 
I got out of bed and grabbed my boyfriends knife and held it to my wrist I started to pierce my skin then stopped... I'd miss Tyler too much, and I couldn't do that to him. When I climbed back into bed he saw the starting cut and started crying. He held me all night telling me he loved me more than life it's self. I know he really does..which is a gift most people doubt their partners affection but not me. I know tyler loves me.
So I don't know if you all know the song Dirty Diana by Michael Jackson..but for some reason I picture a skinny girl with an ED. Is that wierd to assume that about fictional characters?

I've kept all my calorie intake under 600 calories for the last 4 days. I'm proud of myself. My birthday is in three days I hope I continue to lose wieght. I'm so excited for university!


  1. this made me cry
    i hope your ok

  2. Your boyfriend is an incredible man - I just have to say. Any guy that I've ever been would've yelled at me, scolded me..

    But your boyfriend is so understanding it brought tears to my eyes. Remember, you're beautiful, you're worthy of life, and there are plenty of people who would be crushed if you left this world.

  3. five pounds!!!! shit!!
    Your boyfriend sounds amazing, hoping I can find what you have again! So happy you didn't go through with it.
    What are u studying at uni?

  4. 5lbs woo :) congrats for calorie intake! You're boyfriend sounds so supportive.
    stay strong lovely x

  5. Congrats for the 5lbs (woo!) and the calories!
    Your boyfriend really does sound amazing hun. I would love to have one like him.
    I'm so glad you stopped cutting, you're better than that sweetie. I know your boyfriend would miss you terribly if he lost you like that.