Sarcasm, Eating Disorders, College Life, and everything else.. Oh and for those who hate cursing.. Fuck you. Just kidding.. But seriously.

Jul 6, 2011


Thank you.... all of you.
 I had no idea I had followers that cared so much.

I've been a wreck lately just because:
A.) I feel like a fat failure
B.) My beautiful best friends looks a million times prettier than I will EVER be.
C.)  Finally and mostly, Ty is leaving for nearly a month out to sea.

Anywhoozle my 20th birthday is 29 days away (august 5th) and I'm sad about it. I never have good birthdays and I know most people say that but I'm dead serious when I say I NEVER have good birthdays... I'm not sad that my birthday is going to suck I'm sad because I will no longer be a teenager.

I know most people as children couldn't wait to get older and be an adult..
Not me.
I was so eager to be a teen and even happier to be one.
Being a teenager is are old enough to know better and young enough to not give a fuck.
Like charlie sheen..only without the pornstars and wrinkles.

So about my best friend...She is natalie portman and I'm kim kardashian. Except reverse the roles. She is the pretty in pink glamour girl and I'm the art history major, book reading indie girl.
I feel so ugly next to her... It's not that she's smaller, she's only one size smaller but our body shapes are so different. Same height but she is small chested, small hips and southern bell face.. I'm large chested, large hipped, curvy ass, average face.

This is her:

This is me:

Two bodies of desire from men...but hers is the one I want.
Since Ty is gone I will be hauling my fat ass to the gym and hopefully following the ABC diet.
Maybe a fast...
He comes back on the 26-27th by that time I will have gotten a sexier bod, had my nails done, hair done and went tanning. I want him to come home to see me perfect.

and he will.

I want to be perfect on my birthday.

I love you all. I truly do.


  1. My birthday is in August too,and I'm not a fan of it either.
    Just because your age says you're technically "not a teenager" doesn't mean you have to act differently. :]

    < 3

  2. If I had seen the previous post before today, I would have commented too. I love you, and I just want you to know that you do deserve to live, and that you aren't fat or ugly or anything else. You are wonderful, and you deserve everything you dream of, and more.

    I'm sorry you are feeling so down. I know that you are beautiful, even if you don't feel like it. Honestly, I think that Kim's body is WAY more attractive than Natalie's. I know that you will be perfect for your birthday, because you are perfect already, just the way you are. <3

    I don't know if you'll believe me, but every word I have said is true.

  3. i'm 20 in august too! birthday buddies :) that sucks that ty will be away for so long but i'm sure he'll be missing you like crazy and will be seriously excited to get back to you, natalie portman or kim kardashian :P
    p.s. hun we know you're serious - just don't use the holocaust metaphor :)