"I hopped off the plane at MFR with a smile: glad to be home again... Welcome to the land of organic hippies. I know I'mma fit in..."
Okay so it wasn't a Miley Cyrus moment..but who gives a fuck.
What actually happen was: 11hrs in flights and airports in heels. Landing in Medford where my beloved yet terrible mother was awaiting... Bullshit she was late because she was outside smoking a cigarette. Got in the car and went to Applebees and ate. Then i went on a excursion with a gorgeous man... two days later I went to sleep.
Since then I've been cleaning my crack-head-like mom's house and taking care of my grandma who has alzhiemers...which is ok because on the days where she asks who I am... I tell her I ask myself too.
I love having stuff in common with her. She's 87 and she is funnier than shit..
Dane cook has got NOTHING on my grandma.
(On a side note my grandma calls black jelly beans niggers.. thanks grandma for showing my that even old people who are dying who cant remember which decade it is can magically remember that black is bad. You rule grandma.)
Other than that I saw a few of my best friends, ate everything and have purged every single day for the last week and a half. Gross right? No this is gross.. I baked brownies last night with the SOUL intention of eating them just so I can purge them.
And I thought that Smurfs were sick and twisted...
So I've gained three pounds in nine days... Fuck you mom.
She sits around all day eating and it's the worst influence ever!
So tomorrow I'm heading to portland for a week.
To hang with my sister who after all these years I thought was like Ellen degeneres lesbo material but turns out she's Bi, and Pregnant with a little boy... Yay! So imma go up there and eat as little as possible while working out as much as possible. Lets hope I can shape up again!!!
Pray for me like Jesus had a knife to your throat!!
My mom ran out of "medication" yesterday so she's hating life.. which in her case consists of: me, grandma, and the Steve Wilkos show... and since I'm the only who recognizses her I get all the pain.
Yay for being born....
I kinda miss my low life of a "husband... "BUT it's only cuz i miss humans that arent hormonal.. I also miss ty. I think I just miss affection.
And I probably need laid but my hubbs and I dnt have sex because it makes me wanna kill myself..
P.S- WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO HILLARY DUFF IN LIFE? DID SHE DIE?
Literally I care to know...