So March has been a FAT AS FUCK month..
0-1400 calories.
Gym gym gym.
As I walk throughout the campus I become a critic, freak, spectator.
-She is too fat..I hate her.
-She is so skinny... I hate her too.
-(mirror) She is so disgusting. I really fucking hate her.
I'm starting a fast again. I'll video tape it.
I'm a fat fuck... I hate myself. I cried last night for hours.
(at least crying probably burns calories)
I hate myself most days...
I think I'm fat, ugly, annoying, rude, gross, worthless.
I want to be invisible, desirable, beautiful...but there is nothing beautiful about me. I purge in the restrooms you use, I faint in the gyms you workout it, I cringe is the restaurants you FEED in, I shrivle in the sun you grow in. I am an anorexic.
THINSPO
march has really sucked for me so far too
ReplyDeletehang in there love
March has had horrible food downs for me too. But I am still hoping that the ending will be good. It must be, otherwise it is a stupid month.
ReplyDeleteAnd I can't look at people anymore without evaluating how fat or skinny someone is. Probably because we get so weight focused ourselves.
Sending you skinnies and stay strong.
Love your thinspo! And at least March is almost over...maybe April will be better!
ReplyDelete*same* i fell off the wagon for a while... but we are all going to get back on *together* you can totally do this thing! i would absolutely love it if you could vlog your fast - i know you use to have some of a previous one up (?) stay strong! x
ReplyDelete