I need to be
Not saved from anorexia, not saved from my
obsession, nor mental contrast
I need to be saved from the dark. The
I'm eating so much. Make me stop! I've worked so hard!
What I'm thinking every second:
Postive Mind: You've gone from 157 to 124 in 6 months!
You're almost at your goal!
Negative Mind: Fuck you! You stupid cunt! You aren't 115 yet, don't be proud!
Your real goal in 100!
Positive Mind: You went from a size 11 jeans to a size 5!
You will make it to size 3 in no time. Look at you! You are tone and sexier!
Negative Mind: Stop it! Stop it! Just starve you dumb bitch!
Crave nothing but bones! You are fat, and flabby and disgusting.
No one wants to look at you! You are weak.
Ana Whispers to me: "Honey.. I love you. I will make you skinny just like you want.
I won't let you down like everyone else.
I will make you a size one, 100 lbs... you will look dazzling!"
I Whisper back: "I love you. I will obey. You are my life"
I'm sorry I've been gone.
I'm ashamed. Yes I'm still working my ass of in the gym and have purged my food and used laxatives to get it all out.
I am being consumed as a consumer. typical. normal. disgusting.
Thank you all for liking my new pages! And welcome new little monsters! I'm setting up a page of fasting soon since I will be starting the ultimate fast. 115 or bust..
Thank GOD turkey day is over.
I had a chicken breast, with mashed sweet potatoes.. and a crescent roll... everything was sweetened with splenda and I didnt eat till dinenr but I know it must have been 500000 calories.
I love you all. So much! I found some kick ass photos so..