Haters make me Famous

I hate it when people are eitherjealous of hypocrites and become haters.
Well fortunately I'm fucked up enough to embrace haters.
They say shit like it's gonna phase me.

Once you start living your life by your own rules everyone else hates you for it.

Well fuck thier couch!

Stop Sippin on Your Haterade

-So you know how I told you all that I have a friend of mine who went anorexic and just got out of rehab right? Well the other day on facebook (root of all hating) I posted a status saying that I got a new dress, and I was a new size and it was a great day. Well she posts on it saying she really dislikes the new size and how there is no excuse for what I'm doing (so now everyone fkn knows about my ED) then I post back that she had no excuse either. She msg'd me all high and mighty fresh out of rehab saying how wrong I am and that she nearly died. I bitched her out saying that I've been in IP, support groups, etc and that she should know better than most that ED's aren't a game you can tap out of all the time. Then to make matters worse my old cheer partner commented on my picture saying i've changed (not for the good) because she thinks I'm too skinny and shit. Both of these girl used to rub it in my face about how perfect they were and now that I'm skinnier and happy they are haters! WTfuckityF!

Thin Talk Time

• I found a dress on sale at H&M that was to die for! (only $15) but it only came in size sm, and xs. Tyler told me to try on the small (which i didn't want to do because when smaller sizes dont fit I wanna die) So I went to the dressing room and put it on, opened the door to show Ty and his jaw dropped! It fit perfectly! and DAMN does it look good!
• Just liquids..
• I'm sick (yay! that sounds fucked up i know but I always loose weight when I'm sick!)

Let's Get Physical

• Went to the gym yesterday and worked out from 10:30- 12:30, then an excersise class till 1:30!
• 6 Miles on the cycle
• 2 Miles with the arm chest press cycle
• Hip inductions, inner and outer
• Quads and arms
• Ciruit Training class (all cardio, part kick boxing, part pilates part bootcamp!) for one hour straight including a thirty minute intense ab workout! Then walked two miles with my new bestie.
• Tanned for 20mins in the new sun angel tanning bed. Walked another two miles. :)

-Now im sore and sick. It's gonna be water, fresh fruit smoothie, and broth for me today ;)

-My new bestie is amazing! Let's call her Lena. (from Sisterhood of the Traveling pants lmao) Anyways she's a bitch just like I am! We both: have military beaus, brunette, hate cellulite & both love working out and staying thin! She's not ana, but she's def got some tendencies. We tan together, thin talk and pretty much rule. Lena is the athletic body type, not muscular but you would think that she does track. I think she said she's 127 lbs & a size 3/5 almost just like me although she is tinier in curves but she is also taller I think. Girls, do you know what this means?! It means I'm getting a perfect body (eventually!), have perfect man and a perfect new bestie!

-Oh and I aced those fkn tests so I'm a perfect student too! Now just to get to 115 before the year ends!!! I love you girls! xoxoxo stay strong, stay thin and stay BAD!

Thinspo

 

Please keep me motivated!!!

xoxoxo

Another Goal Met

*Queue Rocky Theme Music*

(da da da da da, da da da da da, da da da da da da da da da DA DAAAAAA danananana NA dunna Da!)

Okay before I get to the great news I wanna take a moment to appreciate Sylverster Stallone.
How many men his age are as amazing as him?! None. He is ROCKY.

(If you haven't watched the movies you are either un-American or you live in a cave.) 

Watch Rocky V... Then wait for your mouth to water. I have the sickest fetish for Sylvester Stallone, his voice, his body.Tyler knows how bad I want to bang rocky. ;)

Anyways here are some drool worthy pics..of course dolph is in one!!

Awww YEA.

*Another Goal Met*

Yesterday I was wearing my new size seven denim jeans. Those are the ones that a week weeks ago were snug

(but they are like 100% denim, no spandex!)

Anyways I was wearing them and I had a pair for size five jeans in my closest that I wore the end of my freshman year that are also thick denim (beautiful jeans!) And every month or so I try to squeeze in them. In march I couldn't get them over my thighs, last month I got them over my thighs but they would pass over the badonka donk and they were painfully strangling my thighs.. I thought I'd never fit into them again. But they are GREAT thinspiration and I hate the scale.. I'd rather make my goal pant sizes.  

SO yesterday I tried them on, they SLID over my thighs easily, then over my fat ass and ALMOST could zip them up! OMG OMG OMG! I was smiling my ass off! Tyler said he was proud because he knew that I was working really fucking hard to lose another pant size. Well I was still sad that they didn't quite fit so I took them off and started to fold them....

That's when I noticed the most spectacular thing!

The tag on the inside said SIZE 3!

I thought they were size five for some crazy ass reason!

-Which means I'm a size 5 right now! 

-Which means I'm the same size that I was when I was a sophomore!

And being so close to a size three! 

OMG I almost started crying!

Monsters, do you know what that means?! That means that since March I've gone down 4 pant sizes!

FUCK YES!

I need to water fast or something.. I'm so close!

Last Song

"Everybody needs inspiration,
Everybody needs a song.
A beautiful melody,
When the night's so long.
Cause there is no guarantee,
That this life is easy.

Yeah when my world is falling apart.
When there's no light to break up the dark,
That's when I, I, I look at you.
When the waves are flooding the shore,
and I can't find my way home anymore.
That's when I, I, I look at you."

I made my monster man watch The Last Song with me last night. :) I love Nicholas Sparks books, and I loved the movie. My monster tries to act like he doesn't get gaga for romance movies but he was smiling and blushing all throughout the movie! 

How fucking cute!

 

Thin Talk:

-I didn't work out but I walked like 5 damn miles lmao. 

-I had 2 rice cakes (100 cals) Some soda (100-ish) then I had a slice of cheesecake?! I know right?! wtf! Even though its wasnt huge it HAD to have been 400calories... FML.. So that means (rounding up!) 750 calories today... Fucking gross I know.

-Went tanning (looovvvee it) 

(FAT FAT FUCKING FAT)

I hate myself for being such a lard ass-

So one of my besties from a year ago JUST got out of rehab for anorexia.. I know it's super sick to say this but I was jealous of how thin she got... It was amazing to me. 

I was hella pissed at her because she's not fucked up, I mean she was a valedvictorian, played four intruments, spoke three languages, was GORGEOUS, rich parents who loved her, only child, well respected and super talented at everything she did.. But she never thought she was beautiful. I saw the signs of her gaining an eating disorder our senior year... but once we graduated and moved away from eachother I was in a recovery period she finally broke through and became anorexic. She went from a size 9, to a size 3 in less than 6 months..then a few months ago it was a size one (mind you she's 5'10) and passed out at the university gym... Then went to rehab.

I love her and I'm glad she recovered... I fucking miss her. You would love her!!

So I'm cleaning the FUCK out of my apartment because ty has been great to me, and I'm papmer myself and do my nails and hair and salon shit so that I look good for him. 

 

I feel so huge.. I looked at my arms and I'm certain they are the size of hippo.. My thighs are looking better and I'm so close to getting a gap. Luckily I can feel my hipbones and see my collar bones...but I know  

I'm still a huge fucking whale.. 

I told myself I'd stop once I fit into my size 7 jeans.. 

WHO THE FUCK am I KIDDING HERE!?

I'm not gonna stop.

I want size five...but I want size 3 even more... but I NEED size one.

Fuck.

P.S- I love the fuck out of you little monsters.. you and rice cakes keep me breathing!

Glitter Knickers

Tyler came home from work today laughing about the fact he found glitter all over his monster junk... He had no idea how it got there till he remembered I was wearing some Victoria secret pink brand panties with glitter writing on the ass. They say Up All Night ;)  They spread glitter all over the towells he used.

So I woke up a 6am to get to school, walked 4 blocks in hurricane like weather.. just to find out my morning class got cancelled.. So I went to the gym to work out, then they rushed everyone into a bunker because there was a tornado warning... So after the shock and awe of the storm life resumed... I worked out finally!

Workout
3 Kilometers of  Crosstrainer
7 Kilometers of cycle
2 Kilometers Arm Trainer (new machine!)
Hip Inductions, weights, abs ;)

I hope classes get cancelled tomorrow...

So because everyone agreed...
here's me and my little monster man!
Well not little..  NOT EVEN CLOSE
he he he he

Acting like goofs :) And yes, those are owl footie pajamas...

Little Lazy Monster..

Thank you little monsters for all the comments/compliments! 

(Even though I know that I'm a huge fat whale, I took everything you said to heart.)

-So I was at the dentist for TWO hours. But my dentist is amazing! I got all four teeth fully restored and they look amazing. I was so fatigued at the dentist that I nearly fell asleep at least a dozen times.

-I wore the cutest outfit today..and I know I'll actually look good in it one day lmao. It was a babydoll/Laura Ingles type dress, w/ tights and big lace up leather ankle boots. I feel moderately good about myself now because I got hit-on 7 times yesterday! Different guys, at different times!

But too bad sucka's! I got a perfect man!

Speaking of which... Who wants to see a picture of us? If yes lemme know and I'll post one ;)

But...

If I post it you have to PROMISE to wipe your chin of drool cause he's too fkn cute! 

;)

I've had too many calories in the last couple days..probably 750ish a day! 

I know I was gonna start my fast but I have mid terms next week... 

I don't know if I should try to fast and see how it goes or just eat until those are over. 

But I haven't gained any.. I'm still hoping to be at LEAST 120 by October 21st. 

Seriously I'm gonna live of Lida, Rice Cakes, Air and Water! 

Fuck.. I need to go to the gym!

I Love you girls...seriously if it doesn't work out with tyler who wants to be my girlfriend? Any takers ;)
LMAO.
Ah.. I fucking love you little monsters. xoxoxoxo Stay thin ;)

Sticks and Bones

Sticks and Bones create my thrown high away from the floor.

It sit up here, high and clear...To starve myself some more.

So I'm sitting in bed, skipping Sociology class which started 6 mins ago.
I decided not to go since I have a fed ex package coming any second now and
I have a dental appointment soon. If you've been here since the first posts you
should now how much I love the dentist.
My dentist has the warmest hands.
Yea it's sexy.. lmao
I know I'm sick. Whatever.

I don't know how I did on my Statistics test but I don't care really since I have good grades.
Back to the dentist... So I'm having my four front teeth completely restored. Bye bye $350 bucks
( I have FANFUCKINGTASTIC dental insurance!) I have nearly fucked my four front teeth on the back because thats what purging does. 

Thin Talk
-I'm down to 133lbs.
-I have 17 more pounds to lose till I can look at my nude body and not hate it completely.
-I'm starting a fast tomorrow Tyler is gonna let me!
-Went and got a spray tan..love it! I look skinnier! he he he
-Ate a lot these last two days... since my test and all. UGG!

Replies
Btw Mich I just found it online.. I usually keep my fortunes too but the chinese foor here is shit so I never eat it anymore..Probably for my own good.
B-May I might propose to you!  lmao

Billie Jean-you are so fkn brave by getting on the scales every day and posting body pics.. you're my thinspiration so I'm giving you, and my lovely little monsters here a mini treat.. I pic of me. :) I straightened my hair but this it me, yesterday :)

Thin Bones

The starve bone's connected the thin bone.

And the thin bone's connected to me. ;)

I wieghed myslef this morning and guess what?!?!?!
I lost 8lbs these last couple weeks!
YES YES YES YES YES! I decided that since my hip bones were making a lovely return and my ribs were starting to show that I should get on the scale of death.

This loss is good but I want more.. I always want more... I know that once I hit 120 I'll be great, and 115 I'll be lovely but imagine me at 95! At 95 pounds I'll be perfect! I'll have mastered control, food will be nothing to me. I'll look good in everything!

I'm gonna get to october 21st and i'll be 120...better yet 115. but by the new year I WILL be 115 and no one can stop me.

I'm gonna try to water fast soon. I can't untill after monday because I have a statistics test. I want to beat my water fast record of 11 days and go for 20 days!
Unfortunately I'm going to have to eat this weekend to get this stupid studying done but I have A's in all my classes so i'm not too worried. :)
I've been monster mashing all weekend... yum yum yum ;) Well i gtg study. love you all!

Where did my followers go? I feel so alone now :(

I'm like Fuck this shit BEOTCH.

Sorry I've kinda sucked at postin but I have a lame fuckin test on monday :(
I've been starving so well. I usually eat 50 cals till I about 4pm, and then maybe 100-400 depending on whether tyler is watching me. 

Today I haven't eaten a thing! HAHAHA fuck you fat!

 If fat was a person I'd be the one standing over it's bloody scared bruised body saying 

"FUCK YOU I run this town bitch! "

I didn't get the job I wanted but fuck it. 
Yes I'm in a "fuck" mood so if you are curse sensitive, go fuck your couch. lmao

 
Yea well I finally have a routine group of friends at school... one is a really cool fit chick who has an awesome attitude, loves sarcasm and is just as much of a bitch as me about some things lmao, the other chick is laid back and the tattoo'd rocker girl. I adore them both! 

I knew me and the first girl would be immediate friends when we were sitting next to each other and I saw some girl's cellulite thighs that literally made me gag. She was like "what's wrong" and I told her "I'm a super bitch for saying this, but that girl across the row has the most disgusting leg cellulite ever." and she looked and nearly threw up too. She was saying how much she hates cellulite and fat and loves working out. (we're a match made in heaven!lol)
Yes I have cellulite too, but dear god! This girl had cellulite dips in her thigh that could probably hold a golf ball! She was wearing tiny little shorts! How can you do that!?! Gah I have very unnoticeable cellulite and I could never wear short shorts! 

I just guzzled down a salt water flush mixture so yea...
I wanna skip school tomorrow
I haven't worked out enough to mention so I'm probably going to tomorrow...
FML I'm stressed out, and I've missed you all! You girls are the most precious little monsters.
Xoxoxoxo 


I'm ending my evening with about 130 liquid calories...  

Stay Strong, Stay beautiful, and STAY BAD!

 

And the Winner is...

 Thinner Talk and then Winner Talk!

I don't know if all you lovely little monsters know my ED history but I'll give you a brief glimpse:

I was a pretty skinny girl growing up, then hit puberty over night...

(seriously, flat chest to 32B in one summer!)

I could not understand that I had to wear bigger clothes, I didn't want the changes that fast! 
So many girls were tiny and perfect.. I started hating my body more than I usually did.
Became anorexic, then had body/mental breakdown was in IP, then released & recovered. 
Last November EDNOS crept in. I know I'm not bulimic because I don't fit it. 
I purge like once a month. In June it was everyday. I'd rather starve, 
and lately I'm thinking it's drifting from EDNOS into anorexia again. 
Slowly but it's feeling that way. 

I don't know what to think.

I don't know what to feel

Last nights dinner:

 I had a jello, and a rice cake and water.. 

The calories yesterday didn't even hit 200 calories, and I didn't suffer at all either.

 Today:

Then woke up feeling fine. Had a half of a yogurt (50), Half a rice cake (25)

Sociology class, then drank most of a tall skinny iced latte (50)

And a jello (10)

I'll  have a rice cake for dinner..or a jello. I worked out for an hour like a maniac!

-The Snogging Snack Time Winner IS!!-

(Stiletto roll!!!)

B-MAY!

Yes I've seductively, secretly, obnoxiously,
loudly, mysteriously, wrongly, amazingly, 
exquitely, passionately, intoxicatingly, rudely,
lovingly, selfishly, wonderfully, spontaneously, 
magically, and memorably KISSED 30 GUYS!

-Since you snagged my snog snack secret (try saying that five times fast!)

  I'll answer your question:

How many men have I Slept with/done the Monster Mash with? ;)

The answer is 5!

(Which just so happens to be my lucky number too!)

p.s- This was fun :) we should do this like once a week!

My size seven jeans are loosening already!

I really appreciate all of you.

You're my besties!

XOXOXOX

Snogging Snack Time

Reader Responses:

Posie-Hey welcome to the life of me! I'm glad you like it! 

Lost in Space- I am happy (usually) 

Anna-Dreams suck like that sometimes.. I know I have them cause I think tyler is too good for me and we BOTH had to cheat to be together..ummm yea lol..

Amy- I'm glad you aren't sick of hearing about him/us.. lol 

B-May-I've missed you too!! xoxox!

Acka-I am following you now :) thanks for being a reader sweetie!

Mich- Winter does have the best clothes! BY FAR!

Dirty Diana-I mean billie jean-  Things are going well for now! I love your blog and ANY fan of MJ is a personal hero to start with! lmao. Thank you for noticing that I actually do read blogs! I really love you little monsters! It means a lot and a half when you girlies leave me comments! xoxoxoxo

Snack Time!  

(the time where I let you little monsters feast on my juicy little stories from my life..so eat up! after all they are ZERO calories!)

-When I was a sophomore in high school we got two GORGEOUS foreign exchange student boys from Germany who every girl in school wanted! We ended up spending every day together hanging out... After about a month I started snogging the hot Jock like blond. (6'3'' 8pack abs) then the next weekend the Romantic Mysterious Brunette (6'4'' and 8pack) came over and confessed his feelings for me on Christmas ever and we spent two hours kissing in the light of the fireplace. BTW they were best friends. My monster habits started out young. Every girl in the district wanted to be my best friend that year because I snogged the hottest men to EVER go to our school. (true story!)

-I've written down the name (if i remember!) the date, and place of EVERY guy I've ever kissed...If you can guess the amount right I'll answer ANY question you want!!

Hint: over fifteen, but less than fifty ;)

 Today-Yesterday-Life-Food-Blah Blah Blah

• under 100 cals today!
• 600 yesterday (fat fkn whale!)
• Worked out today and burned 200 cals (still a fat whale..but a toned fat whale..)
• Tyler is still perfect
• I was walking behind a girl today who had the best body..long skinny legs. fkk her! lol
• I've decided to kick my fat ass into shape and make the new goal date my homecomming which is Oct.21

 Tonight I'm going to avoid eating.. I really don't want to bust past 250cal today at all! I'm gonna do my homework (ug) take a monster bath, do my nails and monster mash with my man ;) 

I can feel my body eating up the nasty fat cells with every growl of my stomach! victory will be mine! I will be thin!  Just in time for winter...