Embracing Bones

I sincerely want to thank all of you for your lovely comments...

especially from Ruby Love Bird and Helen, and Liz you guys are great.

You all are.

So lately (this last week) I've been on a carb binge...kind of. Just an unholy amount of cereal, cheeze nips and crackers but I think I'm passed it. -Still no purging which makes me very happy.

The sadness is creeping in again. Not sad for any reason really, and not sad enough to disable me, just sad enough for me to mentally sigh all day long. It kind of feels like when you have a crush and you can't get that person off your mind only you picture cold concrete stained with ciggarettes and bones filled with dust.

I had under 400 calories today.

I took two diet pills they are like cocaine you aren't hyper but you'd die if you had to sit still for a moment.
So I worked out in between thinspo fishing, my term for scouring the internet for thinspo.
Some days you don't catch a thing like there was an oil spill on the thin community, but today the fish were biting.

I'm planning on finishing off this bottle of diet pills before Friday and nibbling bits of food till then.Ty comes home and I promised myself I'd look perfect for him. I will. My fat ass and abs are sore from working them out too hard. It will be worth it when his large warm hands are on me.

Seriously his hands are greek god-like.

I have so much to say but I will scare you all off if I write too much...

I've never been very secretive from Ty just because I hate the feeling of isolating him but I'm going to diet more quietly.. I usually tell him everything about my habits but I think I can do better if he doesnt know.

100lbs 100lbs 100lbs 100lbs

wish.starve.wish.sweat.wish

100lbs 100lbs 100lbs 100lbs

Thinspo Time For My Sexy Monsters



100th Wonderous Post!

YAY! 

Thanks to all of you wonderful support and love over the year I've reached my 100th post!

Over the last 100 posts I have gone from 160 pounds down to the one-teens and fluctuated.

I've moved apartments, started going to college, struggled with my love life, had ups and mental downs, got a pet bunny, and overall had a great year. 

So, today is the beginning of my 30 day fast! June 20th-July 20th!

I posted my video on PT as well as youtube.

I will try to update as much as possible.

I'm not even hungry and the day is nearly over! 

Please give me support and I promise to not let you all down.

Sorry I look like crap! 

Now for some fun and happy thinspo!

Preparations of Summer Fast

Hello little monsters!

I've just finished reading so many of your blogs!

Today has been kinda blah..this whole summer has.

-My brother knocked up an idiot and she's keeping the demon seed baby.

-My moms pill addiction remains a terrifying steady high. Though no matter how doped she was she didn't forget to mention how skinny I was... all the fucking time. 

I love her, still.

So I'm happyish okay with my weight but I want to do an experiment...

I want to do a 30 day fast

I want to do it for a self discovery thing..ish

Its not even about weight really although hell, who am I kidding, its a bonus.

I watched this lady on youtube do a 40 day fast and she did it to bring herself closer to God which I can respect but this fast will not be about God.

I want to see how the body works and responds to the withdrawls of food and learn how to reset my metabolism and cravings. I heard that after prolonged fasts the person can change, in their favor, how they eat and how they view eating.

So starting June 20th I will embark on such a fast and VLOG it everyday. I am calorie/fat restricting till the 15th then doing a proper preparation for 5 days. The fast till the 20th of July. I have people that will be helping me along the way but you all can help me.

I'm excited.

Well little monsters here is some kick ass thinspo...

THINSPO TIME

P.S- I miss you all.