Preparations Of Bikini Season

The time is killing me, nearing. 

The time of which I am talking about it bikini season. I will be ready this year! 
I know for some of you who live in the lower hemisphere you are already warm and soaking up the sun but for me it's slowly melting and beggining to warm up. 

This may is a HUGE anniversary for me. Because in May 2010 I had hit my highest weight and then relapsed into ana. On May 5th I weighed in at 157 lbs.  For you sweeties using the metric system that is 71.2 kg. 

I told myself that I was never going to let myself get that high again and so far I've been very succsesful. 

But...yes the but statement..

I want to have the best anniversary ever on May 15 2011 and step on the scale and let it read 117!

I know my goal weight is less than that but to lose exactly 40 lbs in one year would be the best thing ever!

The last time I stepped on a scale a few months ago it read 124... And I know I've lost weight since then. Tyler say he thinks I'm 119 right now...but I have no clue.

It would a testament to myself that all the starving, purging, grueling workouts was worth it. 

And it would prove to me that my goal weight is possible!

Tiny Thin Talk Time :)

-Today Ty and I went to the gym and I burned 491 calories and had over 10,000 steps.

-I've had strawberries for breakfast, coffee, one rice cake, yogurt light, diet dr pepper and a salmon salad. Totaling of 750 calories (rounded up)

-Net calories of 259.

Answers:

-It is hard to have an ana buddy because I worry about her. But its also nice to have someone to talk to who doesn't think I should be sent to a mental institution.

-I love the word FASHIONISTA almost as much as I love the word Glitter...

-The pills I take are called Phenphedrine... I only take them on days I work out because they are pretty intense.

THINSPO

A Great Glittery Day

So as some of you might know I have a real life ana bestie...She's beyond amazing. We decieded last night that we would destroy today. She picked me up at 10am and we headed to the gym and I challenged her:

Her: So what are we doing today? Abs and Cardio?

Me: I think cardio because I feel fat (even though I didn't eat yesterday..)

Her: Same.

Me: Let's do 1 Hour straight cycling. 

Her: (she looks at me quizzically) Seriously? I love you.

Me: I love you too. Let's do it.

And guess the fuck what!? We did! 

One straight hour as hard as we could on the bike. 

I biked over 15 miles and burned 610 calories.

After I went to a conference with my teacher who I despise. Turns out I aced my essay!

(which I bullshitted)

Then I met *Lena* at the salon across the street and we went tanning. Then walked back to the gym for a second dose. 
- Elliptical, Hip inducters, Abs, abs and abs, stretch, squats. 
- Went grocery shopping for new low cal food.

So I've consumed 230 calories of fruit today and ended up burning 1000+ cals. 
My pretty little pedometer reads 18,000 steps. 

-Thank you all for the comments! I've left some comments for you girlies and have been reading your blogs religiously! And I'll be careful thanks for the concern. And I know I shouldn't let someone treat me like crap I'm just one of those hopeless romantics. And I know he's trying.

-I need to piss...

-So I'm not eating till dinner tomorrow which will be salmon...

-I'm gonna try and stay under 600 a day like I have for this past week. 

Not gonna lie I'm pretty proud of myself. 

I couldn't have done it without my little red pill of death.

Well I'm heading off.. I got to do more laundry and abs :) 

Smooches monsters! Stay Strong!

THINSPO TIME

A fresh breath of air.

I know sucked at posting and so much has happened. So here's a newsflash section loves!

NEWS-FLASH ME!

-Tyler and I are on rocks right now. I found out that he sent out dirty pics of himself to some sluts. I told him I was leaving him. I took out my lipstick and wrote on the mirror "You don't fucking love me! I'm not your bitch, FUCK YOU!" ripped up his favorite pic of us and left the bracelet he gave me and hopped on a plane. I came back though,We are together. kind of. I told that I love him even though he doesn't deserve it and that I will not believe him when he says he loves me. He's trying everyday for the past three weeks to be great but my heart is broken fine.

-I almost have a super sexy 4 pack abs! Too bad its covered with a blanket of chub. FML
-I've had my first public restroom binge/purge...
-I ordered some high waisted vintage denim shorts from australia ;)
-I have a new Thinspo Journal!
-My spring break is one Month away and I will be 115 by then. <800 cals a day!

Thin Talk

Okay so I've binge/purged too much, worked out too much, too many diet pills and too many laxatives. But fuck the world because they are working. Lmao. SO there is this AMAZING girl in some of my classes: I don't know her name, my ana friend and I hate her/love her. 

We call her: the goddess.

She is size 00. Big brown eyes. Always is with a water bottle and coffee. Tons of eye makeup. I love her. You can see every little bone. She is cute! I wanna shake her and scream "TEACH ME YOUR WAYS!" I wish I could put her in my pocket. She cannot weigh more that 85 lbs.. 

Thinspo for My Little monsters!

Sorry I've been missing...

I'm sorry for being gone! On day ten of my fast I found out that my Grandma died.. So I broke the fast and flew 3000 miles home for the funeral.

-Got shitty drunk and threw up redvines and vodka outside a cold and cheap hotel while my brother held my hair back.

-Ate some chinese food.

All my friends back home exploded on my for being "too skinny" And my mother tried to have a sit down with me...she thinks i need help. psh. My best friend had the audacity to see me and say "eat much?" then continued to tell me its ok to be a healthy weight and I need to start eating...She's just jealous.

Yep I said it and I'm a bitch.

I missed you all. I'm gonna start another fast just because...I'm fat...if I can beat the 120 threshold I know I can make it to 110.

Oh newsflash Ty gave me permission to vomit if i want to! Score. I got to go... the gym is calling my name!

Think thin, be thin!

Vlog-Fast day 8 & Recap of 6-7

Hey Girls! My computer was down on the day of the fast day 6, and day 7 I was really sick but here's the day 8 video for today! Thank you all so much for the comments! I am replying on the bottom of the video and adding more wonderful thinspo!

Replies to my little monsters- Good luck to camilla, thin is beauty, kristina, and starving artist for your fasts and thank you so much for the support! RubyLB- I really try to avoid food, stay out of the kitchen and tell myself the truth..if I eat I'll want more and most likely binge and get fat. I really try to focus on meeting my goal instead of my lack of food. Trinity- Thank you so much for that bit of info! it def helps in keeping my spirits up!

THINSPO TIME

Vlog-Fast day 5

DAY FIVE of THE FAST

Omg I made it to day five! without one nibble of food! Muahahaha YAY It was a terrible day because I got my period but I lost an inch off my tummy! Tomorrow starts the 100% fast where its pure zero calories for ten days! I'm 1/3 of the way through this girlies! I need more suppor than ever!!

THIN MOTIVATION? 

I THINK FUCK YES!

Fasting Video Blog #4

DAY FOUR! OMG thank all of you for the support, for those who left Q's in day 3's blog i addressed them in the video. Also check out my new pages! You wont be wasting time they are worth reading. :) So here it is beauties! Happy NEW YEARS! 2011 is gonna be strong and sexy thin :) xoxox

Love you all! Details will be going on the fasting page on the top! READ the how I feel about food page its amazing :)

Fasting Video Blog #3

Day three is nearly over!!! The video is here! Enjoy! Leave a comment on fasting questions and tell me what your New Years resolution is?!  I wanna know! Okey dokey Love and glitter ;) XOXOXO
-thanks for the compliments!



I wish you all the best in 2011. I know for those trying to recover you can do it, and for those striving for thin that 2011 is the year :) Be safe tonight and always little monsters. 

p.s-I'll see you next year bitches xoxoxo!!!!

Fasting Video Blog #2

Okay its day two... It went well I want tomorrow to be pure 0 cal drinks! I must have had 500 cals in liquids today! NO NO NO. Well here's the video I have some shout outs for you girls ;) Love ya stay strong!

Some new pics of me ;)

Fasting Video Blog #1

Alrighty little monsters! I made the video and I've fasted all day, day 1 of 15 is almost over! Here's the video blog and I'm posting a Fasting for Fifteen page on here to update in writing every day! Love you! Help me do this girls!