"Cause this is Thriller"

Happy Birthday Michael Jackson(aka the Patron Saint of POP)

On lieu of the King of Pop's Birthday I was going to bake a chocolate cake with vanilla frosting.. Get it?! 

White on the outside, and black on the inside. ;)  But I don't have any cake mix and I have no money to go get any. Fuck I'm so broke. But I have been playing MJ all day long, and watched his TV special, and watching his music video's tonight! And I kissed the poster I have of him. I love you Michael! R.I.P!

Being broke sucks a large cellulite ass.

I have 35cents in my bank account. The only thing good about being broke is that I don't have anything in my cupboards to eat. So on my schedule for school I get out at 1pm everyday, and Tyler doesn't get home till 4pm which means I can go study for an hour and work out for two hours! I'm so happy that we the Univ has a SPEC-FUCKING-TASTICAL gym. 

I'm seriously happier than a teenage boy discovering the password to the porn channel.

So today I've eating half of a top ramen soup... and for dinner I might have some baby carrots.

I love that Lida removes my hunger. I cannot wait for my Financial Aid disbursement check.. OMG I have to buy books, school, clothes, bills, groceries,clothes, a bike, and did I mention CLOTHES!?! 

This school year's wish/to do list: cigarettes, a kick ass wardrobe, at least one girl-friend, pass all my classes, make a ton of friends, join a club, get to 115 pounds, get job, take a shit ton of pictures, go clubbing, get wasted at a college kegger, get another tattoo, get a pet bunny!

For MJ fans:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=po0jY4WvCIc&feature=related

School & Snakes on a Plane.

So I start school in one week! Here's my schedule: 

 

 Chemistry 105/106

Sociology 201

Theater & Audience 

Statistics 130

Chem Lab (grr)

Eng 201

Yeah so that is 16 credits... 12 is full time and 18 is overload so 16 is a frantic medium I suppose. And yeah thats my school campus. Right on the bay ;) By the way this is where I live:

Anywhoozle I'mma go to the gym today. Oh yea about the Snakes on a Plane part.. 

Shit I suck at blogs.. 

Well my boyfriend's Granny is sick and might not make it through the month so I'm flying with him to Tennessee because he wants me to meet her before she passes. He's so sweet! So southern and perfect.. yum. ANYWAYS he he (I'm sorry I just love him so fucking much!) So I'm gonna meet his whole family! AH! I'm scared, not about making a good impression because that hope flew out the window when they heard we both cheated on our partners to be together...I'm more scared because they are all southern cooks which means the "F" word.

"Fats" 

Like I said earlier I'm going to the gym, and still taking lida..might continue fasting... I missed you girls! By the way everyone say a prayer to Michael Jackson on sunday.. It would have been his birthday. My bf played dirty diana for me this morning... omg he is perfect!  

p.s- I'm excited for school because I'm gonna be a rockstar little monster! 

Oh Ava btw it was a total Gaga refrence..I'm goo goo for gaga.  

School is gonna be the highlight of my life. I'mm live it up!

Dirty Diana

So since I started the pill turns out I was actually more like 148lbs the first day, and I'm on day four of the pill I'm down to 143! I lost 5lbs! YES!

I had an episode last night.. I wanted to kill myself. 

I got out of bed and grabbed my boyfriends knife and held it to my wrist I started to pierce my skin then stopped... I'd miss Tyler too much, and I couldn't do that to him. When I climbed back into bed he saw the starting cut and started crying. He held me all night telling me he loved me more than life it's self. I know he really does..which is a gift most people doubt their partners affection but not me. I know tyler loves me.

So I don't know if you all know the song Dirty Diana by Michael Jackson..but for some reason I picture a skinny girl with an ED. Is that wierd to assume that about fictional characters?

I've kept all my calorie intake under 600 calories for the last 4 days. I'm proud of myself. My birthday is in three days I hope I continue to lose wieght. I'm so excited for university!

Back to the Bullshit.

So I'm back in Virginia...

Oregon was AMAZING but I swear to god it sucked. The first day I got home the weather was like having your first kiss with a cigarette smoker...just not pleasant at all.

Then it got sunny and hot and I spent the first three days naked tanning in my back yard.. Which in Oregon you can do because no one really complains. Besides my neighbors are legit about it.. One neighbor is a gay male couple, flamers... then there is a retired couple behind me and my friend to the other side of me..but he's an 19 year old hotty in the 21st century I'm sure he's seen many of naked women before.. 

So whatever.

My mom was great and then again she wasn't. 

She said I was too skinny..then the next week she bought me a shirt size XL becuase she "thought it would fit" I'm a small/medium....So its obvious that I purged that day. 

Actually I purged almost every single day.
I went jogging often but I missed the comfort of the gym.

Oh it's been a year since Michael Jackson died... R.I.P. I seriously talked about him everywhere I went. If he was an STD I infected like a billion people.

So I found out none of my "guy friends" are actually friends... 

Like if I had nuts, they'd want my nuts. I'm pissed because now I have no guy friends really. :( 

Oh so my husband and I are separated and I'm moving out... Or at least I'm pretty sure that I am... I'll be moving in with Ty. I'm prolly make a huge fucking mistake. Fuck I'm so stupid.

FML.

I saw Family and friends and shit and got fat... I'm in a shitty mood so imma write later.